Confounded
by jello2009
Summary: you're taken away, your memory is blocked, all you know is what they tell you. what good is that when it can be lies? If there's no escape, what can you do? ichigrimm. yaoi. lemons. for now it's complete but I may edit the last chapter again.
1. Prologue

I'm not sure how this is gonna go...I kinda just started to write at random and came up with this. tell me what you think, ok?

You're given a name, but first a number. You don't remember who you are or how you got here. They give you a pill every night, they tell you to repeat one line "I am no one". How they have the right to make us so insignificant is beyond me but what I'll remember most of this is the one girl who recognized me seemingly, the one who called the name I was given and looked so hopeful but her face turned sad when she realized I didn't know, I didn't recognize but at the same time that face made me so sad I wanted to reach out and comfort her for whatever or whoever hurt her, that face which is so familiar.

No one will tell me who she is, no one will explain anything but in a whisper I hear a word that gives me hope that there is an explanation. "I wish a friend would have found me." A friend? She was a friend? She had to be! Because in seeing her I felt somewhat happier, somewhat braver. Like she really meant something to me before. Who was this girl? And why does she give me hope when I barely know her?

They gave me a number, 23 and then later told me my name was Ichigo. What a strange name, I had thought at the time. They told me it wasn't my real my name, they couldn't tell me that, what I later found out though was that it was in fact my real name. They were just in unoriginal to come up with anything else. How they knew me, or found me is a complete mystery, but they did know me. Something in their faces when they looked at me told me so. It was as if it pained them to see me like this.

People told me this place was our new home, some called it prison. I even heard someone call it Hell. Whatever it is, I don't like it. There is no freedom. We can't walk around freely and there's always guards around. They tell you won't get out of here. They tell you you'll die there. To die in such a place…why?


	2. Nameless

alright let's just say that Aizen won the war and that is why this is all happening, I don't know if he did seeing as I'm not that far into the manga but hey I thought it'd fit for this story. anyways enjoy, I'll be posting more later.

I can't remember how I was brought here, but what I do remember is the laughter of the guards who were near by and the one who showed a little remorse up on seeing me looking so pitiful. The one I wouldn't soon forget. They threw me into a cell with a man named Toushiro. He looked at me with sad blue eyes and asked me my name.

What could I say? I didn't even know at that point.

"I'm 23," I answered. He almost smiled, I think.

"Oh, I was 10, but now I'm Toushiro. I was brought here 3 weeks ago," Something told me he wasn't happy, that he was suffering. I didn't blame him, I could just tell this place would be bad.

"Why are we here?" I asked. He only shook his head.

"I don't know." We looked at each other, trying to figure something out. Together we tried to remember _anything_, but nothing came. We sat in silence, to sad and confused for words.

That night I was told what was expected of me by a man named Ichimaru Gin. He was an odd man with a creepy smile. He spoke purposely, it sent chills down my spine. He told me I couldn't escape, It was impossible and that if I did I would be killed on the spot. He gave me a pill that he said was meant to help me sleep, but I couldn't sleep at all. I never could, not in that place. He also told me I was no one and that I ought to remember that. I was no one then and I'd die nobody. The only people important in this world was him, his leader and anyone else trustworthy. He left giving me that creepy smile, something told me that wouldn't be the last time I saw it.

It was late at night when Toushiro and I would talk about our theories and fears. During the day we were silent, to scared to say the wrong thing and get beaten or worse. In these times I found out a lot about him and how amazing it was that we thought similar thoughts. We both feared death before knowing, and wanted to escape, but didn't want death. We were stuck here and no one was going to save us. What were two hopeless people to do other than cling to each other, scared? What could possible be said to calm down the almost broken? One more let down and our hearts might just break right then and there.


	3. Freedomless

tell me honestly..do you like this so far?

Freedom was scarce here. The illusion of it anyways. Once a week we were allowed to be let out of our cells for an hour. Even then we were restricted and watched, so we'd talk in low voices to other people, that is where we learned most of what we knew. This whole place was under the control of Aizen, but I never saw him. No one did. He was apparently a powerful man of some sort.

Also there was someone who claimed to know someone who tried to run away. He saw him right before he was killed, he had yelled, "Yumichika don't try to escape, there's monsters out there." Monsters? What kind of monsters? That small fact was enough to scare us shitless. If we couldn't escape would we just rot here?

People seemed to know a lot, oddly enough, so they were a good source. They listened to the guards apparently, but I never heard them talk. Not above a whisper anyways.

Most of the people that came here entered in silence, looking miserable even before they were imprisoned, but there was one girl who was screaming and trying to get the guards off her.

"Let me go! Please I don't want to die! Let me go!" I heard her screaming, while tears ran down her face. It looked as if she'd seen death herself. I heard she was put in a special cell alone. No one knew anything about her and if they did it was kept a secret.

She was the most interesting thing that ever happened around here, not counting the attempted escapes, which only sickened us. Seeing them carry the dead victim was to much, Toushiro and I always turned away. There was always the thought in the back of our minds that it could have been us. We could have been that poor person. We could be dead.

That thought almost made me happy, but I never told him this. He'd probably slap me silly and tell me we'd get out no matter what. Who could deny such strong words, especially from him? He was someone to look up in my eyes, he seemed like he was an important person. A leader of some sort. Hell he's probably really strong, he'd probably be able to put up a good fight. Yes Toushiro was most certainly someone I looked up to and the only person I truly trusted in this damn place.


	4. Hopeless

After about a week I was given a name. Ichimaru Gin came to my cell and said, "Number 23 your name is Ichigo, this will be the only thing that's yours, so treasure it."

The only thing…it sounded so final, so sure. Toushiro told me this was true, all we were given was food and we'd eat that in a matter of seconds, because we were only fed every few days. Even then it was small portions. I think feeding us was the last thing on their minds, so they didn't deem it important to do it daily. I didn't have to question how people died here. Starvation was inevitable, but I also heard someone bled to death. Apparently they cut their wrists with something sharp they found.

"Good god is that our fate Shiro? Will we all end up killing ourselves?" I asked one night.

"I don't know Ichigo, I hope not."

"If I die first…promise to find out the truth, for me," I said nervously, looking at his face to see his reaction.

"Sure, I was planning to anyways. The same goes for you too, ok?" Our eyes met in a silent agreement.

"Yeah ok," I almost smiled. Finally some glimmer of hope.

Toushiro and I had become close friends in a short time. Maybe it was because we were forced together we were so close. Who knows, in our past life we could have been enemies. Now I couldn't even imagine that, not after everything we've been through together. Not after all the death and suffering that surrounded us.

Together we vowed to find out the most we could. In our free hour we'd ask around, one person we encountered, Izuru, seemed to know more than anyone, He claimed his neighbor knew exactly what was going on. Her name was Rukia, we needed to find Rukia. Was she the girl that came in screaming?

Two weeks pasted without seeing her, Izuru said they wouldn't let her out, because she was causing trouble. Finally the day came she was. She stood out, because she wasn't sad, she was angry. She didn't cling to someone. She didn't ask questions. She looked stronger, braver. Something in her eyes told me she knew everyone here and when her eyes rested on me I saw something else. Determination.


	5. Speechless

sorry these are so short...

Something in her eyes told me she knew everyone here and when her eyes rested on me I saw something else. Determination.

"Ichigo," She said, her blue eyes widened. I could only stare. That voice, I knew that voice. I knew those eyes. I knew her, didn't I? Toushiro tugged at my sleeve, as if to wake me up.

"Ichigo! Ichigo Kurosaki! I knew I'd find you here," She looked excited, as if she just won the lottery. Something I couldn't do, because I knew I couldn't say I knew her, not really.

"I don't know you," I muttered out, not able to look at her. It was only half a lie, because I couldn't remember who she was.

"Yes you do! Ichigo, it's me, Rukia! We were friends. Ichigo please will you remember me?" She pleaded, I suddenly found myself memorized by her. She looked so alive, it was amazing.

"I..I don't know," I stuttered out, unable to find the right words. I had to get out of here, I started to turn away, she tries to persuade me some more.

"No don't leave, listen to me, Ichigo. Ichigo! Ichigo!" I could only take one last look at her before I left, Toushiro following without a word.

"Ichigo Kurosaki please wait! Ichigo!" Two guards ran to restrain her, but she kept screaming my name and thrashed around to get free. I only stared as they took her away. Her scream still lingered in my mind hours later.

This Rukia…she was amazing. How could she be so alive here? How could she stay so strong?


	6. Faithless

ha finally I can get in one of my favorite characters, I love Renji, he's so amazing. lol. anyways enjoy.

"Rukia told me to talk to you, I'm Renji. I'm a few cells from her," A red headed man said, walking up to Toushiro and I as we sat on the ground in silence.

"This is Toushiro and I'm Ich…" I started to say, but he cut me off.

"I know who you are. I think everyone does after her little performance," He said, grinning amused.

"Where is she?" Toushiro asked.

"She's being punished again, a bit disappointing since she just got some freedom."

"What did she do before?" I asked, honestly curious.

"Claimed she remembered everything and refused to listen to that Gin guy, look she said to pass on some information to you until she can talk to you face to face."

"What is it?"

"Her name is Rukia Kuchiki, she's a soul reaper. Her brother, Byakuya, died standing up for her and she managed to hide out for a few days. That's the only reason her memory still remains. You were close friends, well all were actually, that's why she asked me to do this. We fought side by side during the war. Um we fought for our freedom, but lost to the arrancar, they left us alone for a while and than at random they started to take any soul reapers they could get their hands on. They do it late at night so it's not noticed, so no one will know until it's to late." He said, looking disoriented. It must have been hard for him to repeat all that.

"So we're all soul reapers than? And the guards are what, arrancar?"

"Yes, we're all soul reapers, but she doesn't know about the guards. Look the main point I have to this is…don't take your pill anymore, ok?" He lowered his voice at the last part.

"What?" Toushiro asked baffled.

"We all know it doesn't help you sleep, Rukia has a theory that it keeps us from remembering anything and I think she's right, I haven't taken it in a week and I'm starting to remember. It mostly comes in dreams, you can actually sleep without taking it, it's amazing."

"Rukia's pretty smart," I said. All these things made sense.

"She's really something, you got to believe her, she knows what she's talking about," He said, looking far away. Maybe he was remembering something.

"Renji?" I asked. He looked at me dazed.

"Yeah?"

"What else do you know?" I looked at him with pleading eyes. I snuck a look at Toushiro and looked just as desperate. Renji grinned.

"No, I can't tell you everything now, besides we're out of time," He said, looking over at a clock. Toushiro sighed, obviously not pleased.

"Can we talk next week then?"

"Yes, I'd like that," He got up from the ground and stretched, but stopped suddenly.

"Oh, and Ichigo…don't let them know what your doing. Ikkaku was taken away when he was caught…" His face turned grave.

"Was he your cellmate?"

"Yeah. See ya," He turned around and walked away. Leaving us to ponder everything we've heard. We sat in silence for a moment and then I spoke up.

"Shiro?"

"Yeah?"

"Are we gonna do it?"

"I want to remember," He said firmly, a smile played at his lips.

"Good, me too." I got off the ground and looked at him expectantly.

"Ichigo?" He asked softly.

"What?"

"Do you think we can trust them?"

"If we can't, who can we trust?"

"I'm not sure."


	7. Sleepless

sorry so short

Pretending to take the pill was easy enough but where to put it? Toushiro and I exchanged hopeless looks. There was no where in these cells, just walls, floors and the crappy beds we slept on.

"Put it in your bed," Someone whispered. We both jumped.

"What?" I asked, not sure where the voice came from.

"Your bed, it's the safest place." I saw someone's figure in the dark. It was hard to make out.

"Who are you?" Toushiro dared to ask.

"Kenpachi, do you know where my vice captain is?"

"What do you mean?" I asked dumbfounded. Vice captain? What he a caption of something?

"I was a captain, I remember. My vice captain's this girl with pink hair, have you seen her?" Even without seeing his face I could see he was sad.

"I'm sorry, no we haven't, right?" Toushiro guessed, looking at me for support.

"I'd remember if I had." I don't recall seeing anyone with pink hair.

"I remember you two too. Ichigo, you were Soul Societies hero."

"H…hero?" How could I be a hero?

"You saved us more than once, you were strong."

I blushed. Me a hero? What could I do?

"Just sleep it off, ok? You'll feel better tomorrow. Goodnight." His voice faded as he walked away.

That night there was no talking, we actually fell asleep right away. It was the best sleep I've had for a long time.


	8. Dreamless

In my dream I was fighting a man on a hill, purple swords surrounded us as we fought. He struck me and I fell to the ground. He said I reached my limit when suddenly a white mask appeared on my face and I was reenergized, fighting him ruthlessly, surprising the other man.

"Ichigo, wake up."

The man was just about to say something when I woke up, to Toushiro standing over me.

"Wha..what do you want Shiro?" I asked annoyed.

"Hey do you want food or not?" A voice that wasn't Toushiro's answered. I looked past him and found a teal haired guard that for some reason looked familiar. I've seen him somewhere, but where?

"Yeah of course, we're starving," Toushiro said, looking at me thoughtfully. What was up? Was I talking in my sleep? Or did he want to ask me about my dreams?

The teal haired guard smirked and slide the train underneath the cell door. I got up and we separated it equally, eating it at a record speed. It's been at least 4 days since we've been given anything. It felt good to get something in my stomach.

"Shiro I'm so happy I could kiss you," I said, watching to see how he'd react. His face didn't change.

"Please don't Ichigo," He said seriously. I grinned at him satisfied.

"Shiro did you remember anything?" I asked curiously, noticing something in his eyes.

"Yeah, there was a girl. She was crying over some man named Aizen, I was angry, because of his betr…" Suddenly he stopped talking and stared into nowhere wide eyed.

"What is it?"

"Ichigo, it was the Aizen that's in charge of this. I think she was in love with him, she only saw me as a brother but I loved has as more, and…" He seemed to lose his train of thought.

"Does that mean she's connected to this?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Anything else, If you don't mind me asking?"

"It was mainly just her. I think her names Momo," He said with a smile. "And you Ichigo?"

"There was a fire in the shape of a bird, but I stopped it from killing someone, I think it was Rukia, and then I was fighting some guy with black hair with white bands in it."

"Did you win?"

"I didn't see the ending, you woke me up."

"Sorry bout that."

"It's fine."

"Was she special to you, like Momo was to me?"

"No, I got the impression there was someone else."

A man with pale skin, black hair and green eyes rushed down the hallway and stopped at a door, quickly regaining his compositor before opening the door. He walked slowly up to a man who sat in a big chair.

"Aizen-sama we have a problem," He said bristly to him. He looked up with warm brown eyes.

"What is it Ulquiorra?" Aizen said patiently.

"It's Kurosaki Ichigo, sir, he's…"

A smile formed on Aizen's lips.

"Ah yes Kurosaki Ichigo would remember fairly quickly, I'm surprised it's taken this long."

"What are we going to do?"

"Just keep an eye on him, make sure he doesn't do something stupid."


	9. Titleless

just thought I'd add a little humor...ichirenji is one of my favorite pairings ever but I may not put it in this story, I have something else in mind...

Kenpachi started to talk to us about his dreams and his vice caption, Yachiru. Just by the way he talked about her you could tell he loved her, even if he didn't remember everything, he still loved her. I found it amazing. These people never ceased to amaze me. Like Toushiro, just the other day he told me he always got mad at me because I called him Toushiro, instead of Captain Hitsugaya. I couldn't help but smile, so we did know each other.

"So do you think I was a captain? It seems everyone else here was."

Renji looked at me oddly.

"Oh come on Toushiro was and Kenpachi."

"Who's Kenpachi? That sounds oddly familiar."

"He's our neighbor," Toushiro said bored.

"Rukia says I was a vice captain of squad 6, whatever that means."

"What has she said about me?"

"Nothing concerning what you were, just who you were, what you did."

"Renji what was your number when you first came here?" Toushiro suddenly asked.

"6, why?"

"What if Aizen and everyone was just to lazy to be creative and give us numbers that would be associated with us, but that doesn't make any sense, if they didn't want us to remember…I was 10 and I know I was in squad 10, and you're in 6."

"Shiro you're a genius!" I said excitedly. Finally we were getting somewhere.

"But what does 23 mean?"

"I have no clue."

"Maybe it's how long your zanpaku-to is, or something else…" Renji said, grinning suggestively.

"Ha ha very funny." I rolled my eyes at him. He snickered.

"Sorry I couldn't help myself. You left an opening."

"Whatever floats your boat Renji," I looked over at Toushiro. He was blushing. I couldn't help but laugh, God I loved making him uncomfortable. It was so easy.


	10. Foodless

It took another two weeks for Rukia to have freedom again.

"Ichigo, how have you been?" She asked, smiling at me.

"Fine, I guess. Can I ask you something's?"I said, getting straight to the point.

"Sure, but I have to know have you stopping taking the pill?"

"Yeah, now will you answer any questions I have?"

"Not any, I want you to remember it on your own," She said, smiling at my pout.

"But with Renji…"

"I'll tell you some things but not everything, ok?" She said patiently.

"Fine."

"Where's Toushiro anyways? He's usually always by you, right?"

"He's sick, he couldn't get out of bed so I went by myself. They may be onto us, they won't give us food. He um started to cough up blood…" I looked at the ground, sadly, not wanting to think about it.

"I'm so sorry Ichigo, I know you're close,"

"Yeah anyways onto my questions."

"What do you want to know?"

"Do I have a family, and where are they? Are they here somewhere?" She giggled.

"Of course you do, you have two sisters and a dad. Your mom died a few years ago, but I don't know where they are. Probably back in the human world, I don't think they were taken."

"The human world? Than where are we?" She smiled again, amused.

"We're in Hueco Mundo, where the hollows live. I'm surprised I thought you'd be smart enough to figure that out."

"Well I'm sorry, I don't exactly know everything here. That's you."

"I know, once you're back to your normal self you'll go back to yelling at me, that is if we get out of here alive and you know you smile a lot more now, It's kinda weird to see a smile on your face, it's not normal."

"I don't remember who I was Rukia."

"I know," She bit her lip, looking at me thoughtfully. "But you will and you'll be back to the same Ichigo people know and love."

"Can you tell me how I saved Soul Society, please? I'm curious."

She started to go into a detailed report, smiling the whole time. All I could do was nod and stare amazed.

"Hello Ichigo," an oddly familiar voice said. I looked over and found the teal haired guard from a few weeks ago.

"What do you want?"

"Are you hungry?" He asked, looking absolutely angelic, it may have made me worry if I wasn't so hungry.

"Of course I am, but you're not going to feed me," I said bitterly.

"Come here." He motioned to the door, without thinking I got up and walked over to him. He smiled and casually put something into my hand. I stared up at him shocked. He was actually gonna give me food?

"But…" I found myself at a loss for words. Why was he giving me such kindness?

"Don't tell anyone I did this, ok? I'd get in trouble," He said, smiling at me. Ichigo almost jumped when a hand slipped into his.

"S..sure," I stuttered out, feeling my whole body go weak at this innocent touch.

"It's hard to see you like this Ichi, I wish I could do something for you, but this is all I know that I can do," He looked pained while he said this, and then it hit me. He was that guard on the first day…how could I forget him?

"How do you know me?" I whispered. He let go and walked away, without answering me. I could only stare in his direction shocked. What the hell was that? When I regained sanity I went over to Toushiro's bed, setting the food the guard had give me, which was bread, on his bed. I stared at him for a while, he looked so pale and weak. I didn't know what to do. He was so sick. Please don't die on me Shiro…


	11. Friendless

I just remembered souls don't need to eat...but let's say in this story they do! lol

"Eat it Shiro, I'm begging you." I pleaded when he refused the food.

"But where did you get it? It might be poisoned." He said, looking at the bread suspiciously.

"Please, I'm sure it's not, ok? You need to eat something, I don't want to lose you." His expression softened.

"You're worried about me?" A ghost of a smile played on his lips. "Oh Ichi it'll be ok, I promise."

"Eat it Shiro, I won't ask again," I said finally, looking at him determinedly. He picked it up, nibbling at it timidly.

"It won't bit." He laughed and swallowed it whole. When he was done he looked at me, as if he was contemplating something.

"So you didn't eat any of it? Why not?"

"I told you I wanted you to have it."

"Aren't you hungry?"

"Yes, but your heath is more important to me at the moment."

"I probably would have done the same thing, I guess I shouldn't be complaining."

"That's right, I could have taken it all for myself."

We grinned at each other.


	12. Emotionless

hey does anyone know when episode 151 comes out? I'm never sure when the release date is. thank you in advance. anyways enjoy

My dreams were starting to freak me out. Renji and Rukia kept appearing, but mostly Renji. After a few nights I came to the conclusion that Renji and I must have had a past. Were we in a relationship? Did we…love each other? What does it all mean?

Renji kept smiling at me, with a strange smile I couldn't read. He knew, didn't he? It all makes sense now…

"Ichigo."

"What do you want Renji?"'' I said with a sigh, causing Rukia to look at me curiously.

"What are you thinking about so hard?" He asked, a smile forming knowingly.

"Nothing, leave me alone." Shiro why do you have to be sick? You could rescue me.

"Don't you want to talk today? What's wrong, Ichigo?" Rukia asked, looking concerned.

"I'm just worried about Shiro, that's all. They fed us last night, but I let him have it all. I don't need to eat."

"But you do, when was the last time you ate anything? Even I have been getting food and I'm usually being punished by them, it's not my fault I'm outspoken."

"Over a week."

"What?" Renji stared at me shocked.

"What? I'm fine."

"No Ichi…"

"I said I'm fine!" I got up, slightly surprised by my angry outburst.

"Sorry," They both mumbled.

"I'm gonna go," I went back to my cell, falling onto my bed. I looked down at Toushiro, who was sleeping. He was so cute when he was sleeping, it was the only time he really looked happy. He usually had a small smile on his lips, probably because he was always dreaming of that girl, Momo.

That reminds me…was Renji meant to be my Momo? I didn't believe it, but I kept dreaming of him, just like Shiro dreamed of her.


	13. Comfortless

I woke up to the sound of Shiro coughing, I looked down and found him bending over the bed. Blood again. He wasn't getting any better. I had to do something.

"Shiro, I'm worried about you," I said, observing him. He looked even more pale today.

"Don't Ichi, I'm fine," He sounded tired.

"That's what you keep saying, but Shiro…"

"Please, stop."

"Are you getting sick of me? If you wanted I could just stop…"

"No, I'm not sick of you. You're the only thing keeping me sane, I'm just sick of everything. I want to go home, wherever that may be," He said wistfully. I jumped off the bunk and sat on the floor, staring at him. He turned on his side so he could see me.

"Remember what Kenpachi said that one night? When he was talking about Yachiru?"

"Which night would that be?" He asked smiling. That's true, he was always talking about her.

"When he was comparing this place to home. He said in any, well most anyways, real home has people who love you and some place that's just yours, like a bedroom."

"Are you trying to say this place is my home? Ichigo what have you been smoking?"

"I'm just saying it could be, if we had nowhere to look forward to returning to. Would you rather die without having a home, without hope? When you can make a home, can make hope. So maybe, just maybe you can die happy, with no regrets?" I looked right into his eyes when I said this, trying to make him listen. He shook his head, but I could see some defeat in his eyes. I smiled, relieved.

"You have to be smoking something, but I suppose your right. You just have to make the best with what you have, good or bad. Only in this place would that logic make any sense, Ichi you're lucky I'm just as insane as you are," He said, smiling a real smile.

"I'm glad we met Toushiro, I really am, because otherwise I'd probably go insane and lash out on some guards."

"Do that anyways, I'll watch."

I couldn't help, but laugh at this.

"If I die…" He was suddenly serious.

"You won't," I cut him off.

"…remember to keep our promise, ok? You remember which one I'm talking about," His face was full of sorrow.

"Of course, but can I…?" I didn't know what say, he looked at me curiously. I had the biggest urge to comfort him somehow.

"What is it?" I found myself hugging him, he stiffened at first, but gave in, clinging to me. I closed my eyes, taking it all in. I needed this, it was my only proof that I was still alive.


	14. Helpless

ichigrimmjaw is one of the best pairings ever...lol. not as amazing as ichirenji but whatever. anyways you might like this chapter, it's a little longer too. I didn't want to make it short, it was to fun to write. enjoy!

"Hey…you," I said, when the teal haired guard passed my cell. I suddenly had an idea when I saw him. He turned around, smirking at me.

"Can I help you?" He said sarcastically.

"Would you?" I asked, giving him a desperate look. He stared for a moment and then stepped toward me, not looking away from me.

"Depends, what will you do in return?"

"Anything, I don't care what, I just need you to do something for me." His smirk turned wicked.

"Ok, it's a deal. Now how can I help you?" He said. It took a second for me to regain my composure, it was hard with him looking at me so intently.

"My friend…he's really sick, and you're a guard here so you might know what to do. I'm worried that he might…" I had to stop, because I felt tears form in my eyes.

"What's wrong with him?"

"He coughs up blood everyday, he's getting paler by the day and I don't know what to do. Do you know of some cure?" His face softened and he stepping closer, looking as if he was debating something in his head.

"He was probably poisoned, we get bored here sometimes and we play games with the prisoners to entertain us, well the others do. I haven't done anything like that ever, especially since most of these people were my friends."

"Friends?"

"I have a cure, I'll be back in a while and I'll explain better, ok?"

"Alright,"

I waited for half an hour, almost falling asleep, and then I heard my cell door opening. I looked over lazily and found he had returned. He was carrying a bottle, maybe that was the antidote.

"Can I ask you what your name is?" I asked, as he sat down next to me.

"Grimmjaw, Jagerjaques Grimmjaw. Now can you sit him up without waking him?"

"Sure," I moved to Shiro's side and lifted him slightly, stopping to look at Grimmjaw unsure.

"Go on," He encouraged, trying not to smile. I pulled him up fully and Grimmjaw opened his mouth, empting the bottle in it. When he was done, I laid him down gently and looked over at Grimmjaw, curiously.

"So he'll be ok?"

"Give it a few hours and it'll work, don't worry."

"Grimmjaw I asked you once how you knew me, I want to know, please? Because I don't' think you'd do this for me unless you did know me, and you said you had friends here," I said, looking at him determined. I wanted answers.

He sighed, defeated.

"We were enemies at first, but I went on your side. The only reason I'm here now is that I valued my life, If I had stayed I'd be dead now. Aizen took me back, but he's still weary of me. So are the others, but I have some people on my side. But they have a good reason…I still have a soft spot for you and everyone else. That's why I try to stay out of the way. It's hard enough knowing they're planning to kill Rukia...look I came here knowing something would happen, but I didn't expect this. I thought they'd just take Soul Society and leave it at that, but they didn't. I feel bad I can't do more, but Ulquiorra keeps a close eye on me."

I could only stare at him, contemplating everything that he said.

"Ichi, are you ok?" He asked, gently brushing my cheek. His eyes held mine, suddenly I couldn't breathe. All I could do was get lost in his blue eyes. As he leaned in closer, I closed my eyes already knowing what was coming. His breathe hit my lips and then warm lips were on mine, in the most gentle of touch.

"Grimmjaw," An unfamiliar voice said. We jumped apart.

"Fuck," He mumbled and dug into his coat, pulling out something that looked like a radio, "Yeah, what do you want Ulquiorra?"

"Aizen-sama needs to see you, you're not breaking the rules are you?"

"No, I'm not, tell him I'm on my way." He turned it off and looked at him, smiling. "Well that didn't work out how I was expecting, but I have to go, but let's do this again, yeah? You don't mind do you? That I kissed you?"

"No, because every time I see you or anything…it's like I can't breathe," I felt myself blushing as I said this. He smiled and leaned in again, looking me deep in my eyes.

"You're so cute Ichi, I'd almost believe you're innocent if I didn't know you before," He whispered, asking permission with his eyes. I nodded and his lips covered mine again, I kissed him back, losing myself momentarily. He pulled away to quickly, quickly getting up.

"Well I'll see you," He said, leaving the cell.

"Grimmjaw wait," I got up, trying to stop him.

"Please, don't tempt me, I'll just come by some other day, ok?"

I nodded, stepping back as he walked away. I touched my lips, smiling.


	15. Blameless

In my dream I saw Grimmjaw, he was smiling at me. I was smiling too and he held out his hand. I took a step forward and then…

"Ichigo it's a miracle!" Shiro's voice woke me up from my dream.

"Huh? What's a miracle?" I asked, momentarily forgetting last night. Then it hit me. Grimmjaw getting the antidote and then that kiss…A smile formed on my lips as I remembered it.

I'm all better now, it's amazing, Ichigo are you listening?" I sat up and nodded.

"Yeah I am. That's great Shiro."

* * *

He only questioned me after he got over the shock.

"What did you do? I know you did something, I can see it in your eyes."

"Me? What could I do?" I asked, playing dumb.

"You have a connection, don't you?"

"Connection? What are you talking about?" He grinned.

"Ok I can play this game, so you what fluttered your eye laces at some guard and convinced them to help you?" He didn't realize how close he was…how ironic.

"Why would I do that? Why would I ask for _their_ help?"

He shook his head and said, "I'll figure this out and then you can't lie to me." I only smiled. If he had woke up he'd know already, why was I so relieved?

* * *

Toushiro always fell asleep early, leaving me with a chance that Grimmjaw would come by. I never appreciated this until now. He walked past and then returned within seconds. I stood up, walking to him. His eyes moved to Toushiro, and then turned to me when he was sure he was asleep.

"So he's ok?" He asked, looking intensely at me, as if he was remembering that night.

"Yeah, thank you," I said, leaning my head against the cell, looking up at him. I could tell he was trying not to break his straight face.

"No problem, my strawberry," He mumbled, unconsciously leaning toward me. I smirked and laced my fingers through his, as they gasped the bars. I heard him take in a deep breathe, as if he was holding it.

"Grimm, what's wrong?"

"No…nothing. Ah fuck I see what you're doing, I can't do this right now. I have somewhere I have to be," He pulled away to quickly for me to stop him.

"But..." I pouted. He smiled.

"Some other day, Kurosaki," He said with a sigh, walking away.

"Teme, you always leave me hanging," I mumbled, glaring at his back.


	16. Secretless

yeah I know this is short...oh well. enjoy

"I'm so glad to see your well Toushiro," Rukia said, smiling.

"Thank you, so am I."

"What cured you?" Renji asked him. Toushiro looked at me accusingly.

"Time, I suppose."

I couldn't help but sigh. Was he never going to let it go? He kept giving me the cold shoulder whenever I'd try to talk to him. Why is he mad? I saved him! I should at least get a 'thank you', but no that's to much to ask for. Grimmjaw did say to not tell anyone he helped me that one time, I'm only assuming that applies to this, too. I didn't want to get him in trouble, not after everything he's done for me. Not after I've known attached to him in a way I never thought I would. I want him to kiss me again and I want him steal me away, if only for an hour. Get me the hell out of that cell, into a new atmosphere. The air in there to stuffy…

"Ichigo?"

"Huh?" I looked up, they were all looking at me.

"We just wanted to ask you if you learned anything new lately?"

"About this place? No." I'll have to ask Grimmjaw, maybe he'd open up to me.

"I don't know anything either, I don't understand what I'm missing. There has to be something more…" Rukia said looking said.

My eyes wondered as I caught sight of a certain teal haired man. I stared him down until he met my eyes. A faint smile appeared on his face, I felt myself smiling, too.

"Ichigo, why are you smiling?" Renji asked suspiciously. I turned my eyes away from him, but I saw Renji try to find what I was looking at.

"I don't know," I mumbled, sneaking a look. He was gone. I tried not to look disappointed.


	17. Rukia

wow...I can't think of what to write...give me a while and i"ll come up with something tonight. I had something written but meh...sorry so short

* * *

It started off with Rukia appearing in my room. One thing led to another and she had me paralyzed and she was explaining what soul reapers were. She using drawing to show how it worked and I commented on how bad they were. Then they were a growl outside and than a scream close by. _Yuzu._ Wait who's Yuzu?

I was fighting a monster wearing a white mask. Rukia was yelling at me, saying I shouldn't get depressed because I can't save people, but instead get stronger and not let my friends get hurt.

She's telling my family some made up story, making my sister and dad cry. She gives me a thumbs up as he says she can stay and starts talking to a poster.

Scene after scene I see her, in different situations and scenery, yelling at me, talking with me, ordering me around, fighting with me, teaching me.

Rukia who are you?


	18. Talkless

I figured I had enough fluff, I mean it is 18 chapters into this story, I should have at least one good yaoi scene. and I've been getting really exciting about writing this...lol. yeah I plans for this story. but yeah enjoy.

* * *

I couldn't fall asleep, I kept tossing and turning. When ever I'd close my eyes I'd see him. Why was it he was all I could think about at night? Maybe it's because whenever he'd visit me it was at night, but it's been a few days now…did I do something wrong? Or was this all a game to him?

My thoughts were disturbed suddenly by his voice, as if he knew I was thinking of him.

"Ichi, are you awake?" He whispered.

"Yeah."

"Can I talk to you?"

"Ok, talk," I turned over so I could face him.

"Not here."

I smiled slightly. Wasn't this what I had wished for a few days ago? I got off the bed and he opened the door. He took my hand and moved so fast I wasn't sure how far we had gone. I could only stare at him, shocked when he stopped. He grinned my expression.

"You're so cute Ichi," He mumbled, moving the hair out of my eyes, staring at my lips longingly all the while. I leaned forward, doing what I've been longing to for days. I shut my eyes as I kissed him, when he started to kiss me back I wound my arms around his neck, one hand playing with his hair. He pulled me closer, deepening the kiss, his arms stayed around my waist. Our lips moved urgently together, sending chills down to my toes.

I had to pull away to breathe after a minute, but dove right back in. I wasn't going to miss this opportunity. His tongue traced my lip, I unconsciously opened up, letting him in. He explored my mouth, making me moan. I grabbed onto his hair more forcefully when he caressed my tongue. I surprised myself by knowing exactly what to do.

He pushed me back, without breaking the kiss, I felt something soft. It was a bed. I fell onto it, he followed effortlessly, moving his hands up my shirt, stopping at my nipples. My moan was muffled. We continued to make out for what seemed like hours, aggressively touching each other and moaning into each other's mouths, to full of lust to care that anyone could walk in or hear us.

Afterwards we laid in his bed together, cuddling up closely. No words were spoken, none were needed. All I needed was to fell his hot breathe on my neck and his hands on my waist and I'd be content. I felt sleep over come me, but I tried to stay awake. The last thing I remember is staring up into his blue eyes.

* * *

I smiled as I woke, expecting to find Grimmjaw, but I only found my lonely cell. I must have fallen asleep and he brought me back here, but his bed was so much more comfortable. I could have stayed there all night and I wouldn't have cared.

He said he wanted to talk. Isn't that ironic, we maybe spoke 10 words the whole time. Our mouth were to busy to talk. I smiled as I remembered this. I could do that again.


	19. Controlless

this is long over due, I know. I promised I'd have this up by Wednesday but I was called into work and than the rest of the week I was either working or doing my homework, sorry but here it is finally. more to come tonight maybe

* * *

"Ichigo…" Shiro said, staring at me funnily. I stared back at him.

"What? Are you talking to me?" I fired at him.

"I just wanted to say sorry, ok? I know this isn't a good time to mad at you, it never is here, because let's face it we need each other."

I smiled. Finally he got it.

"Thank you, Shiro."

"You do know you can talk to me, right? It is something you can tell me, I mean," He said, blushing slightly. What did he know something? He was still suspicious, I could tell, but I wasn't going to tell him anything involving Grimmjaw. Not until it came to the time I needed to.

* * *

I couldn't help but smile when I saw him. Has he always been so beautiful?

"Hello my little strawberry." I could have melted, just at the sound of his voice.

"Have you come to talk to me again?" I asked, giving him a suggestive look. His grin widened.

"Perhaps," He said, getting right up to my cell door, grabbing my shirt and pulling me into a kiss.

"Are you up to it, Ichi? I mean I could lose control. I could have taken you last night, but I didn't want to scare you off," He whispered, looking me deep into the eyes. I felt myself nodding, to mesmerized to fully take in his words. He was fucking sexy when he did that.

"Good."

He took me to the same room again, to that same bed and ravished me with those same hot kisses. He was driving me to the edge again, touching just so, taunting my tongue. Every touch left a tingle that I couldn't shake off, but when his hands wondered lower I had to pull away.

"Grimm I…" I tried to find that right words. Not that I didn't want to do more, but than it'd let him do anything he wanted if he kept this up. I can't say no to him.

"It's ok, we don't have to go all the way, so just relax Ichi. You'll like it," He said, grinning as his hand went even lower, grabbing my member. I gasped. He kissed my lips as he slowly pumped me, making me arch into the touch. Our moans mixed together as I tended to his neglected member.

888

I fell asleep curled up against him, smiling as I stared into his eyes. I saw a hint of something there. Was it love?


	20. Thoughtless

just a look into what Ichi's feeling

* * *

I think Grimmjaw liked to leave marks on what he thought was his, mostly because of the big hickey on neck that was hard to hide. Mostly because of my throbbing member, just from the thought of last night.

How did he do it? Just by thinking of him I turned to mush. He barely had to try, one sexy look and I couldn't breathe. What was happening to me? Why oh why can't I stop this? No the question is why don't I want to stop it?

* * *

What was the point of even leaving my cell anymore? I had no desire to talk to anyone, but Toushiro wanted me to come. How could I say no to that pathetic face? Why go when I see the same faces every time? All we do is bullshit about what we could do, well I'm gonna do something. With Grimmjaw's help I'll escape and save everyone. If he'll help that is, which he probably will. He seems pretty willing to help me out, like help me out of my cell for example.

But I couldn't tell anyone this. If I did who knows might happen and I don't want to screw this up. It's going far to good to do that, I just want one more taste of that freedom. Of _him._ Of that complete perfection.

He knew me so well already. How is that possible, when I barely know anything about him?


	21. Harmless

I'll leave you with this until I can type more, I have to write a paper tomorrow but maybe...well I work Tuseday and Wedseday but I could probably get one in on one of those days. idk, once christmas break starts I'll have nothing better to do P

He made it a habit of stealing me away late at night, only to take me to that place again. Touching, kissing any skin he could get to. I don't remember when I let myself become the uke in this relationship, but I didn't mind. Then again when I was with Grimmjaw my head wasn't exactly clear.

Each time we'd take it a bit further, touch a bit more, kiss more passionately. I was baffled when suddenly he just wanted to hold me. He said it with such innocence that I couldn't say no. It was kind of nice, just laying there, with nothing in our way.

"Is it ok if I test something out on you tomorrow?" I eyed him suspiciously. What kind of test?

"It won't harm you, I promise, I just want to test a theory. Please don't be mad if it doesn't work and if it does…don't hate me," The way he said, it made me so sad. Hate him? How could I do that?

"I won't hate you. Does this have anything to do with my memory?" I asked, half hopefully.

"Yeah, but I'm not sure it will even work so please don't be mad, ok?"

"Yeah yeah. I heard you the first time."

"And Ichigo?"

"Yeah?" I caught a faint blush on his cheeks. I couldn't help but smile.

"I…I love you." I smiled, mostly to myself.

"Grimmjaw I…" He covered my mouth with a finger.

"Don't say something you don't mean," He whispered, gently taking his lips to mine in such a way it broke my heart.

Why was he acting so weird? Did he think me getting my memory back would change things?


	22. Fightless

hey, I already have the next chapter written. I'll type it up tomorrow but here you go. I'm not sure if I'm happy with this chapter...but w/e.

* * *

"Shiro…I have something to tell you." I said, after taking a deep breathe, trying to get the courage to tell him the truth.

"What's up Ichigo?"

"I know what happened to Momo, she's…dead. She was murdered by the arrancar. I've known this for a while, but I could never find the right time to tell you. Whatever you do, don't ask me how I found this out, please. I'm sorry," I said, lowering my eyes to the ground, to afraid to see how he'd react.

"You don't think I already figured that out? If she was here, I would have seen her by now," He said, almost sadly. I looked up surprised.

"But you always sound so hopeful…"

"If I don't, I'll only depress myself. I need to do something."

"That's true."

"Ichigo have you lost your love?"

"No, they're still alive," I almost smiled. Grimmjaw…he was my love, right?

* * *

"Grimmjaw I have to talk to you." Grimmjaw grinned at the green eyes boy before him.

"Yeah what do you want emo boy?" His grin widened when he saw Ulquiorra get mad at this.

"Do you know anything about the whereabouts of Kurosaki Ichigo's Zanpakuto? It went missing a couple days ago and Aizen-sama wants it."

"Why the fuck would I know?" He tried not to smile. He knew actually where it was, but he wasn't going to tell him.

"Because you're the one infatuated with him. Do you think I'm so stupid I wouldn't notice? I know you switched so you could be closer to him and now your what, planning his escape? You're not very smart Grimmjaw, Aizen-sama will find out about this, and when he does…" Ulquiorra smiled, as he imagined what would happen. He never liked Grimmjaw and was disappointed when Aizen let him come back.

"Why don't you be a good little bitch and go back to your master? Maybe he'd care about what you have to say. I don't give a damn about you or your threats."

"Don't think I won't tell Aizen-sama about all your dirty little secrets." Grimmjaw smiled.

"And don't think I won't hesitate to kill you."

Ulquiorra pulled out his Zanpakuto quickly and stared at him challengingly. Grimmjaw followed suite, only to be stopped by a voice.

"Now now none of that. We're all on the same side, aren't we?" A man with purple hair appeared out of nowhere.

"Stay the fuck out of this Gin, this isn't your battle," Grimmjaw practically growled.

"No, but Aizen-sama won't be to happy to hear that you're fighting, you know your name isn't completely cleared yet. Just one mistake and you could be dead. Now Ulquiorra doesn't have anything to worry about." Gin smirked at Grimmjaw's mortified expression.

"Whatever, I'm out of here," He said, putting his Zanpakuto back and walking away.

"Why did you have to stop it? I want to kill him," Ulquiorra said, furiously.

"Yes, in time you can, but if you kill him you know Kurosaki Ichigo will go after you."

"I've seen him fight, I could kill him."

Gin's smirk widened.

"All in good time, now let's go have a chat with Aizen-sama."


	23. Orderless

I'm just prolonging Ichigo getting his memory back...but I've mainly been focusing on him so I thought I'd take a break and I wanted to make Ulquiorra more important in this story because he's one of my favorite arrancars, damn he is sooo sexy. lol

* * *

"I have failed to find the item you asked for," Ulquiorra said, trying not to look away from the man in front of him.

"Oh? Why?" Aizen said, curiously.

"It's missing, I'm sorry. I can't find it, I can't Grimmjaw, but he…"

"Why do you blame him?"

"He got defensive when I asked him! Isn't that proof enough that he took it?"

"We could search his room, would that satisfy your curiosity Ulquiorra?" Gin offered, trying not to act as if he already knew this information. He only nodded.

"What makes you think it was Grimmjaw?" Aizen asked, getting impatient.

"You know as well as I do, you know he was in love with Ichigo, that's why he left us in the first place. I don't think his feelings have changed. He could be planning an escape or rebellion or something. Will you at least consider this to be possible Aizen-sama?" He pleaded, trying to act as if he was confident, but his stare was unnerving. Aizen sighed.

"Fine, search his room and keep an eye on him, I'll question him in a few days."

"In a few days? Why not today?"

"Ulquiorra, he's busy, consider yourself lucky he's even considering this."

"Thank you," He said, slightly annoyed.

"You both are dismissed," He said, addressing both Ulquiorra and Gin. They bowed and left. Ulquiorra glared at Gin before walking in the opposite direction. A smile played on Gin's lips.

* * *

"Why the fuck do you have to search my room? I'm not hiding anything! I'm on your side, remember? Why would I risk doing anything?" Grimmjaw yelled at the four arrancars that burst into his room.

"It is Aizen's orders," The leader said.

"We have been asked to make sure your out of the room so you can't hide anything, thank you," The tallest one said, pushing him out of the room.

"This is bullshit, this is my room! You can't just do this!"


	24. Sacrificeless

hmmm should I post the next chapter tonight? I don't know...I'm just kidding, I might get to it

* * *

"Hey Ulquiorra?" He looked up annoyed, he had expected Gin ten minutes again. 

"Did they find anything?" He fired off, wasting no time.

"Sorry, nothing. I have reported this to Aizen-sama. But I think you may be on to something."

Ulquiorra grinned, happy at least someone was on his side.

* * *

Grimmjaw seemed behind pissed, I tried to grab onto this hand, but he only pushed me away. I wasn't sure how to ask him what was wrong. He seemed far away, as if he was contemplating something. I tried not to say anything, but the suspense was killing me. 

"Ichi?" He asked out of nowhere. I tried not to jump at the sound of his voice.

"Yeah?" I moved closer to him, trying to be sneaky about trying to touch him again.

"I'm sorry for being like this, but Ulquiorra got Aizen to search my room, but they didn't find anything. It just pissed me off. It's a good thing they didn't find my secret hiding spot, though. Otherwise right now I wouldn't be alive," He said, with a faint smile.

"What were they looking for?" I asked, causally slipping my hand in his. I was surprised he didn't push me away again.

"I have something for you, but you can't tell anyone I did this," He said, finally meeting my eyes. I nodded. He squeezed my hand, before letting go and standing up. He went to a closet in the back of the room. He looked back at me with a wink as he pulled something out.

"What is I…" I stopped when I caught sight of a black and silver Zanpakuto. I stopped breathing momentarily. That's my zanpakuto!

"Zangetsu, you got him for me?" I whispered, completely shocked.

"Yes, because I have a theory…and if you want to escape you'll need this." He walked back to me, holding it out to me. I felt like crying suddenly.

"Thank you Grimmjaw." I reached out to him, but he took a step back.

"Please, just please take it," He pleaded, as if it pained him. He wouldn't look at me. I grabbed the hilt and he looked up, expectantly.


	25. Memories

I'll leave you with this until tomorrow, enjoy.

* * *

"Please, just please take it," He pleaded, as if it pained him. He wouldn't look at me. I grabbed the hilt and he looked up, expectantly.

"Grimmjaw what…" I stopped when suddenly I was seeing everything in fast motion right before my eyes. Everything from my first memory, to the war and the last night when I cried myself to sleep.

"King, you're finally back, where have you been?" Hichigo whispered, close to me. I dropped my Zanpakuto like it was on fire and felt myself falling. Warm arms surrounded me as they guided me to the bed. I felt the weight on the bed change as he sat down, soothingly stroking my hair.

"Ichi, are you…did you…?" He asked, looking at me, searching for something. I closed my eyes as I felt the dizziness return.

"Holy fuck, what is this?" I asked, laying back onto the bed to stop the world from falling away from me.

"The pills you originally took only prevented your memory to be blocked for a certain amount of time, but once you stop if you really concentrate something will come through. If you focus on just one thing you'll mostly remember that, in the form of dreams, but if you come in contact with a large enough raistsu…the block that was originally on your memory is lost," He explained, laying down next to me, taking one of my hands in his.

"So that raistsu was Zangetsu? I suppose that makes sense. I feel sick Grimmjaw, why do I feel so dizzy?" I squeezed his hand tightly, as if that would help.

"It's a lot to handle when your not exposed to it for so long, don't talk Ichi, just relax and you'll feel better."

I let him touch me in that soothing way for a while, enjoying the feeling so much I felt myself drifting off to sleep. I faintly remember feeling his lips on mine before I lost consciousness.


	26. Nightmares

just a short little chapter before this gets really good, the next chapter I think you'll like.

* * *

"Ichigo, wake up." If I ignored him, he'd only try harder.

"Hitsugaya what do you want?" I said, still half asleep, not noticing what I had called him.

"Hitsugaya?" He echoed, as if It was foreign. Than I realized it. Why did I call him that? I rolled over to meet his eyes.

"You were having a bad dream," He informed me, looking strange.

"I know," I remember it clearly, there was death, tears and blood. Does being a war do this to everyone?

"Why did you call me that?"

I sighed and said, "I don't know."

"Something's different. What with that face?"

My face? You mean my usual frown?

"Did something happen?" He pushed further, he wasn't going to give up was he?

"No."

"Why do you look like you've seen death?"

Oh the irony.

"Because I have, over and over again. Will you leave me alone for awhile, please?"

He frowned. I settled back into my pillow and was about to go to sleep when I remembered something.

"And tell him I say thanks," I mumbled.

* * *

Him? Who…the teal haired guard? He was always hanging around and Ichigo always smiled when he was close by. So he did have a connection.

Why was he sleeping so deeply suddenly though? Di d he…somehow regain his memory?

"Toushiro."

"Yeah, Kenpachi?"

"You do know he's been sneaking off with a guard, right? They seem so happy…like it's real love."

"For how long?" He was honestly curious. How could he not know what his own cellmate did when he wasn't looking?

"For weeks now…since after you got sick."

"Are you serious? That was a long time ago."

How did he miss that? Now that he thought about it, it was pretty obvious…


	27. Rage

I really suck at spelling...when I wrote this out I totally spelled Yoruichi's name wrong but I looked it up.I can never spell that name right.

* * *

I slept for most of the day, dreaming of more faces forever frozen in time, of a bloody battle field and broken Zanpakutos. Then there was a scream and a fall and someone instantly jumped out to save them.

"Yoruichi!" A familiar voice screamed. Urahara. He ran to her broken body and clang to it, sobbing over it.

"No, Yoruichi, no you can't be dead. Please wake up, please, I'm begging you. Yoruichi!" Tears ran down his face, blurring his vision. He stayed there for a few minutes, sobbing over her, calling to her. The soul reapers looked at him synthetically, but the arrancars were laughing. Suddenly he was angry, when he realized she wasn't going to wake up. He took one last look at her before carefully setting her on the ground, and standing up. He stared the crowd down for a minute and then spoke.

"I'll kill you you motherfuckers! I'll kill you for what you did to her!" He screamed, staring right at the man who had stabbed her.

"Awaken Benihime!" His Zanpakuto came to life and he lunged at the man in question, attacking him with great speed that he couldn't keep up. The man fell to the ground with a shocked look on his face. He started to attack anyone that looked at him, taking them down in seconds.

"You're murder's! All of you!"

"You're fucking crazy," A brave arrancar dared to say, Urahara cut him down in seconds.

It seemed like this would go on, but someone decided to step in.

"Kisuke stop! Stop this right now!" Isshin yelled, grabbing his arms from behind. His furious eyes turned toward his, but instantly softened. His Zanpakuto fell to the ground as he leaned up against him.

"Yoruichi, I couldn't save her Isshin. I let her down. I should have saved her," He said, in between sobs.

"It's ok, you'll be fine," He said soothingly.

I woke up with tears in my eyes. Yoruichi…I almost forgot her death ended the war.


	28. Promises

the next chapter will be longer.

* * *

"Is it true you got your memory back, Ichigo? Is that why you're so tired?" Rukia's voice woke me up from a deep slumber.

"Who told you that Rukia?" I asked, sitting up.

"Toushiro thinks something changed."

"Ya know what the secret is, about our memories?" I asked, randomly.

"No, what is it?"She leaned against the bed.

"Get a big enough raiatsu and we'll remember everything, like a Zanpakuto or someone who's really powerful. He said that they just blocked them, not erased them," I couldn't help but smile.

"Is that what you did?"

"I didn't do anything. _He_ did. I owe him my life."

"Who?"

"No one, Rukia, just no one. Can I ask you something?"

"Yes," She looked nervous, as if she already knew what I was going to say.

"Did Renji love you? He never loved me, but he stayed with me anyways, well he kind of stayed, he was always distant."

"He loved me, but I wouldn't have done what I did If I knew you two were…" She said, blushing slightly. I almost laughed.

"I know, you have never intentionally hurt me, thanks for helping me out all these years."

"Ichi…"

"If I disappear I will come back to save all of you, I promise."

"You're leaving?"

"Yes," I don't know when yet, but I hope it will be soon.

"Don't die then, fight like you always have. You've always been so strong," She looked thoughtful, as if she was remembering all the good times.

"I will, I promise."

I can think of more than one good time with her, she's always been a good friend. I wish I realized this from the start.


	29. Rape

I think this chapter turned out really good. tell me what you think, ok?

* * *

"Mr. Kurosaki, Lord Aizen-sama wants to see you," Gin appeared in front of our cell, wearing his usual creepy grin. Just seeing it gave me the chills.

"Don't go Ichi," Toushiro whispered, trying to be as quiet as possible. It didn't work, he heard.

"This is an order, I assure you if you fail to comply there be grave consequences."

I exchanged a weary look with my cellmate before walking to Gin.

"Ok, take me away," I whispered. If this was Grimmjaw I wouldn't be worried…but this wasn't.

He aggressively grabbed my arm as he pulled me to an unknown place.

"Do not speak until you are spoken to and do not try run away. You must do anything and everything Lord Aizen-sama tells you to. Don't ask stupid questions or be frank. It will not be tolerated." His tone was so harsh it scared me. I could only nod as he pulled me into a room with at least 10 arrancars standing around and one man sitting in a white chair. Aizen.

Gin let go of my arm as he walked away, taking his place by Aizen. I rubbed my arm when I thought no one was looking. Did he have to be so rough? He left a bruise!

For a moment it was to quiet. I stood there studiedly, unsure of what to do.

"Kurosaki Ichigo, welcome," Aizen said, with a smile, breaking the silence.

"Yes," was all I could think of to say. It must have been wrong because people started to whisper and laugh.

"Silence!" He said sternly. They instantly froze. "I would like to ask you some questions, if you don't mind." It made it sound like there was a choice, but obviously there wasn't.

"Ok, what do you want to know?" Gin smirked, he must have found me amusing.

"What is your relation with Jagerjaques Grimmjaw?"

There's the question. Of course that was the issue. Why else would Aizen want me?

"He's my friend," Something told me he'd want me to say that. What was he to me anyways?

"Friend? Did he initiate this friendship?"

"Yes, he spoke to me first."

"Is he planning to free you?" God I hope so.

"Not that I know of," I fibbed slightly, I hope he can't see that.

"Than why is your Zanpakuto missing?"

"I don't know, I haven't seen it since I was brought here." Did he notice the fear grow in my eyes?

"You lie."

There was silence for a minute, and then I found my voice.

"What?" More people laughed. Gin looked happy, as if he already won.

"You have seen it, you have your memory back, don't you? And there's no way you could get it back without it. I don't like liars," His voice turned cold. He saw right through me, didn't he?

"No! Why do you think that?" I was getting defensive. This wasn't good.

"Why do you have that scared look than? I can sense your angry and scared. Your raiatsu tells me everything. If you're going to lie, at least make it believable. Who are you trying to protect? Grimmjaw?"

"No, I…"

"Silence. You're a bigger threat than I anticipated. Maybe you should be punished."

This made many people snicker, as if they already knew what he was going to do. The fear grew inside me. What was going to happen to me?

Aizen made a motion toward the door and they quickly cleared the room, most wearing a big cocky smirk. I stared at them confused and than looked back at Aizen. He stood up and walked toward me, stepping dangerously close. I almost stepped back from him, but caught myself.

"Kurosaki-kun do you know what I want?" Something told me I didn't want to know. I shook my head, not being able to find words.

"What a pity, I'd think it'd be rather obvious by now. If I didn't want you I wouldn't have sent for you."

"You want me?" I echoed.

"Yes."

He grabbed my waist and pushed me onto the ground not so gently. I groaned in pain as I hit the hard floor. He kneeled down next to me, starting to undo my pants.

"Wait no!" I screamed. His hands stilled momentarily.

"No? You dare refuse the person who holds your very life in his hands? I could kill you with one snap of the neck, but you see I want to keep you alive. So why don't you just relax and enjoy it?"

He didn't wait for a reply, instead he just went back to work. I shut myself down as he touched me and kissed me. I tried not to make a sound when he forcefully entered me, without even preparing me. I felt my body tense up

"Relax," He said sternly as he thrust into me.

I wouldn't scream or moan, not for him. Not when I didn't want this from him.


	30. Observant

I crawled into a ball on my bed, feeling numb and broken.

Why me? Why did he chose to rape me?

I had to bite my lip to stop myself from crying, it was so painful. I bet Grimmjaw would be gentle with me, but Aizen didn't care if he hurt me and I couldn't refuse. Not if I wanted to live.

I had to get out of here before he could do that again. I won't let him hurt me again.

* * *

"What did he do to you? Will you tell me? You've been acting weird ever since you got back. Don't think I didn't hear you crying last night. Please, I care about you Ichi, I want to know if I have to hurt him or not." He was probably smiling, but my head was buried in the pillow so I couldn't see.

"No, don't, he'll kill you. He'll kill me. Besides I don't need you to save me."

"He hurt you." I clenched the pillow. I don't want him to worry.

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not."

"I said I'm fine Hitsugaya" I sat up and glared at him. He only looked at me funnily.

"You're memory really is back, isn't' it? You didn't call me that before. I like 'Shiro' better," He said, as if he was unfazed by my outburst. I had to hand it to him, he was pretty observant, and even now it was hard to be made at him.

"Sorry…Shiro," He smiled, satisfied.

"Thank you Ichigo. When you leave, please come back for me,"

"Leave?"

"You don't think I know?"

"Yeah…" I smiled slightly, like I said, he's pretty damn observant.


	31. Questions

someone requested ichigrimm sex...well It will be in the next chapter. I'm still working on it. you see I have this problem, it sounds good in my head but I can't put it into words...I'll think of something.

* * *

"Bye Shiro," I whispered to the sleeping boy before slipping out. I took Grimmjaw's hand and followed him without a word. He threw me a curious look. As if he didn't already know.

"Are you ok?" He asked, closing the door behind us.

"Yeah, just get me out of here," I said, taking a seat on his bed. I was so ashamed, I tried to hide my face. He couldn't' find out. He'd try to kill Aizen probably. That's just how he is.

"What, you mean out of Huedo Mundo?" He gently moved my hands so he could look at my face. I averted my eyes as I met familiar blue eyes.

"Yes, I need to get out." Would I tell him? Did I have enough nerve to?

"Why are you so desperate now?" He tried to catch my eyes again. I shook it off, knowing if he saw how scared I looked he might worry.

"Aizen…he…questioned me. He knows, Grimmjaw," I said, editing the story a bit. I flickered my eyes to him quickly, I saw a sad, almost angry look. As if he knew I was lying. Before he could say anything I spoke up.

"Can I ask you to do something for me?" I bit my lip nervously. He nodded.

"Can we…" I felt myself blushing, as if I couldn't say it out loud. He leaned in closer, searching for something.

"What is it?" I detected a faint smile on his lips, the bastard he enjoyed this.

"I want to…"

"Come on it can't be that hard to say." He brushed my cheek soothingly. I felt my heart skip a beat.

"Will you take me? And then I want to leave this hell, I want to go home. Can you do that for me? That's all I want." I whispered. He really did smile this time, it was to innocent though, I didn't trust it.

"Oh what you mean you want to make love to me?" He knew that'd affect me. I blushed even deeper. Why was I suddenly so shy? I wasn't a virgin, after all.

"Yes."

"Ok, but I hope this isn't like a last request,"

"Wha…" His lips covered mine in an unyielding kiss. It took all my strength to pull away from it.


	32. Love

this is the only chapter that has kept me from posting new chapters, I have troubles writing these. I know it's not perfect. I'll never be good at writing this kind of stuff but you wanted this. enjoy. merry christmas!

* * *

"Wha…" His lips covered mine in an unyielding kiss. It took all my strength to pull away from it.

"Wait, you don't have to do this for me. If you let me go, you'd get punished right? So am I really wor…" He covered my mouth again, my words were lost instantly.

"Ichigo, you're my strawberry, of course you're worth it, but I will see you again, I promise. I know you're thinking if you leave, you won't, right? You will, I'll find you. I don't want to give you up."

"I never would have taken you for being so soft," I said, smiling.

"Oh believe me I can be gentle, you'll find out. I love you," He kissed me again, pulling me down on the bed, gently kissing his way down to my neck, sucking on the sensitive skin. One of my hands found his hair, as the other wrapped around him. I found myself closing the eyes as his lips moved further down. One of his hands went under my shirt, pinching my nipple. I moaned, experiencing a new sensation. He looked up with excited eyes and smiled. He removed my shirt for better access, taking the bud into his mouth, using his tongue to lick it and than suck gently as his hand continued to pinch the other one. When I felt my pants get to tight for comfort I pulled up his head and captured his lips, to stop myself from exploding. He pushed his tongue into my mouth, catching mine. I wasn't sure who, but someone moaned. Somehow during that our clothes disappeared, without breaking the kiss.

When we broke apart we were both flushed and panting, but we dove right back in, touching, kissing passionately. His hands ran down my body, stopping at my legs, pushing them apart and then stroking my inner thigh, slowly moving to my entrance. I gasped as I felt him graze it. He stopped the kiss, grinning at me.

"Ichi I don't have any lube, do you mind if we do this dry?"

"No, I don't want to wait."

"Good, now suck," He said, holding three fingers to my mouth. I took them in, sucking for a minute or so, then he removed them and inserted one into me. I held on tightly to his shoulders as he pushed in and out, feeling the pain fade away to pleasure. He added to more, both times looking at my face to see if I was ready. The last time he scissored me, opening me up further. Without a word, he spread my legs further apart and positioned himself, before pushed into me, staying still for a few seconds and then pulled out, only to push back in. I held him tightly as he tried not to thrust with him, his hands were holding my hips down. I tried to move, but his nails dug into my skin. He only let go when he moved my legs to his shoulders for better accuse. I screamed his name when he hit a really good spot. He repeatedly hit that spot, making me come all over his stomach.

"You're so tight, you feel so good," I faintly heard him say, but I was to far in ecstasy to pay attention. I found myself moving with his steady rhythm, I threw my head, moaning and screaming his name. Oh God this was like nothing I've ever felt. When he came inside me, we slowed down, riding out the rest of the orgasm. He let go of my legs as he laid down on the bed next to me. I smiled when I felt his arms surround me.

"Ichi, I've wanted to do that for so long, God you're amazing," He whispered.

"Grimmjaw I…" He didn't seem to hear me though, he stared at something far away.

"I always thought you'd be a screamer. You are so hot when you're all flustered,"

"Wait, I have to tell you something…" I love you Grimmjaw, please let me say it.


	33. Home

"Wait, I have to tell you something…" I love you Grimmjaw, please let me say it. He sat up suddenly, as if he heard a noise near by.

"Do you feel that Ichigo? I have to get you out of here. Now." He got up, throwing on his clothes. "Please Ichigo believe me. I know you've always sucked at sensing raiatsu, but believe me you don't want to meet who's coming."

"Who?"

"Gin, Ulquiorra and some others. Now come on,"

I got up instantly, putting my clothes on. Not them. I had to survive to see Yuzu, Karin and my dad again. I couldn't let them down. When I was fully dressed Grimmjaw handed me my Zanpakuto. I smiled slightly.

"You'll need this, come on," He pulled me almost forcefully out of the room and opened a portal. On the other side I saw home.

"Karakura town," I whispered, to no one in particular.

"You have to leave before they get here. I want you to go somewhere safe just in case they go after you. If they do please, stay alive, because I will see you again. Now go," He tried to push me into it, but I stopped him.

"Grimmjaw, I love you," I said, leaning in quickly for a kiss. He looked shocked at the confession. I smiled and turned around, giving him one last look before I left Hueco Mundo.

Home…I'm finally home.

* * *

I had to keep running, I had to get to Urahara's shop. I had to stay alive. No body followed me, so for the time being I was safe, but I had to keep running. If I did that I wouldn't have to think of him and all he did for me. He freed me, he must really love me and I know I love him too…but he never let me say it until that last moment. I hope he knew that was the truth. I wouldn't lie, not about that.

I loved him since before this whole thing, before the war even. I loved him when I was with Renji, but I was so stuck on him I was scared to lose him, so I never tried anything with Grimmjaw. I loved those moments a lone with him, I never told him how much I loved them. I never told I loved him or even hinted it until that last moment, entirely to long of a wait, but it was worth it. Those last few weeks with him, he treated me 100 times better than Renji ever did, why didn't that make me sad? When exactly did I fall out of love with him?

I stopped suddenly, noticing Chad sitting on a swing at the park, daydreaming about something sad. I slowly approached him. Chad…I left you here all alone didn't I?

"Chad!" Tatsuki said out of nowhere. I jumped, realizing they both could see me. Please don't notice me…

"Are you ready?" His voice sounded so sad.

"Yeah, let's go," Her smile was forced. What were they doing? They both seemed so sad. I followed as they walked slowly somewhere in silence for a while, until Tatsuki broke the silence.

"I um brought her flowers tonight, her favorites."

"I'm sure Orihime would have loved them."

"Thank you Chad, this is hard fro me. Losing her and Ichigo in the same year…"

I gasped in realization. They were going to the grave yard, weren't they?

"We all lost someone, but at least there might be hope for Ichigo, where ever he may be."

"8 months and you're still waiting?"

I felt like a ghost suddenly. 8 months…time passed fast then. It doesn't even feel like I've been gone that long.

"Are you doing the same thing?"

"Yeah," She sniffled. She was crying. Oh God I had to get out of here.

I ran in the opposite direction, getting back to my original plan, only to be delayed again as I found myself outside my house. The lights were turned off. Something about seeing it again was so sad. I took a deep breathe and entered the house. It wasn't that clean, the dishes were undone, the floor was dirty. Wasn't Yuzu keeping up with the cleaning? I hope they moved on.

I looked in my sister's bedrooms, they looked the same, I even looked in mine. It looked untouched, as if it was waiting for my return. I didn't dare linger, so I went to my dad's room. I found him sleeping on top of the blankets, snoring quietly. He was shivering. Was it cold? I couldn't feel anything. I gingerly grabbed a blanket and put it over him. I took a closer look at him, his face was unshaved, he had clear worry lines. The war must have really taken a toll on him. I left him and went back to my sister's rooms, picking up Yuzu's stuffed animals or Karin's soccer ball. Where were they? Were they at a friend's house? But what day was it? Something seemed off about this scene. Something was missing. Where was Kon's loud 'welcome home'? It kind of scared me, how different everything felt now.

I left the house, without leaving a trace of me being there and finally got to Urahara's shop. The house was asleep, but I entered anyways. Pictures of Yoruichi were everywhere, as if he was trying to forget she died. This house was sad too. Had the war affected everyone it touched? Everyone was fast asleep, it must be late. I laid down on the bed in the back room and allowed myself to close my eyes for a few hours…


	34. Welcome Home

don't worry, I'll get to the good stuff soon. I hope you people don't mind me getting Grimmjaw a little hurt, he won't die I promise. I'd never kill him off...he's to sexy. (btw I miss him...he hasn't been in any episodes for a while)

* * *

"Kurosaki-kun! Kurosaki-kun! Wake up you idiot!" Someone was shaking me away. Why does he always have to wake me up? Was it another nightmare?

"No, Shiro leave me alone," I mumbled.

"Shiro?" That wasn't Toushiro's voice. Where was I? I opened my eyes, expecting a lonely cell and Hitsugaya's blue eyes looking at me, but then it hit me. I left Hueco Mundo, so I was at Urahara's shop. The person before me was the little boy that stayed here, Jin.

"What day is it?" I asked. His eyes widened and he laughed.

"You appear out of nowhere and that's all you have to say? 'What day is it?," He mimicked, smiling sarcastically. "Who's Shiro anyways? Your boyfriend? And can you tell me where you came from? People have been worrying about you and you hide out when you come back? I don't understand why they care about you anyways, you're a bit of an idiot."

"I wasn't hiding, I was just…"

"Jin what do you think…" Tessai opened the door but froze when he saw me.

"Manager!" He yelled, not taking his eyes off me.

"What now, couldn't you find…" He stopped and gaped at me. Jesus you think I came back from the dead…

* * *

"You're father has been informed about your whereabouts," Urahara said, as I quickly ate breakfast. I haven't had food for days, I didn't care if they called me a freeloader. He watched me closely, wearing a strange, yet sad expression. As if he was remembering something good. (remember the episode when Yoruichi was eating and eating? Lol I thought that was so funny)

"Kurosaki-kun can you tell me anything about where you've been?" He asked, after a few minutes.

I swallowed the food in my mouth and smiled at him.

"Can I wait until he gets here? So I don't have to retell my story?"

"Certainly," He said, with fake cheer. Did the war even affect him? The man who could always find a reason to smile? I couldn't stand to see him looking so sad when he was trying to look happy. Is that what I did?

"Um can you tell me how my family has been?" I asked, trying to make him forget whatever was making him sad.

"Your father has managed. I think he's lonely," He seemed far away. Something in his voice told me he knew more than he was letting on. He probably turned to Urahara, but why?

"What about Karin and Yuzu?"

He took a deep breathe, as if he knew this was coming and was dreading it.

"They were taken when the arrancar came to kill you. Poor Kon was killed in the process," He faintly smiled.

"They were taken?" I echoed, feeling numb. Oh shit that means they were killed. I never saw them…You just wait after I free my friends I'll get my revenge on those mother fuckers.

"Do you know how many people died on our side?"

"A lot, but the strong ones survived." I knew this already, what was your point?

"Exactly, they saw them as weak I think, or maybe they wanted to lure people to Hueco Mundo."

"No," I answered instantly. That was wrong, I would know better than anyone else here. They didn't see how they treated us, how they so easily threw us away as if we were nothing.

"No?"

"They took them for their own sick pleasure. If they raped them like Momo I will kill them," I was suddenly furious. I didn't even try to hide it. He seemed surprised by my sudden outburst.

"Kurosaki?"


	35. Threats

sorry it's been a few days but I've been working alot. enjoy!

* * *

"Son! My son!" My dad same out of nowhere, hugging me tightly. I didn't push him away for once.

"Hey," Was all I could think to say. I could have said anything. I'm sorry. I'm glad to see you too. But I was to overcome with emotions to get it out. He didn't let me go and I couldn't breathe.

"Um dad?" He noticed my discomfort and let me go.

"Sorry, It's just been so long," He looked like he was going to cry. It broke my heart.

"Sorry about Yuzu and Karin."

"It's not your fault, want to visit them tomorrow?" Again with the fake happiness.

"Sure," Oh God they're really gone…

Kurosaki-kun can you tell us what happened?"

"Yes daddy wants to know what happened to his son!" (Isshin is so weird…I can see him saying that)

"He saved me."

"Who did?" They both asked.

"Grimmjaw," I said with a smile. "I'll tell you the whole story. I was brought to Hueco Mundo and I couldn't remember anything…" And so I told them almost everything, excluding the nights with Grimmjaw. That's one thing I'll keep to myself.

* * *

"We should have known you'd do this, you scum!"

"How could you let him go, baka!"

"You piss me off, Jagerjaques!"

Grimmjaw tried not to wince as he was being stabbed. Blood ran down his chest as he was chained to the wall. He wouldn't have let himself get caught if so many people had their Zanpakutos pointing at him. A few seconds after Ichigo disappeared they came around the corner, Gin in the lead.

"Where is he Grimmjaw?" He asked. All Grimmjaw did was smile. He finally set him free, why would he tell him that? The men behind him pulled out their Zanpakutos.

"Aizen-sama has ordered us to take you away if Kurosaki Ichigo was gone. Now come with us peacefully and you won't get hurt."

"Ok take me away."

He bound his wrists with a raiatsu binder and pulled him into the cell he now stands. He wouldn't speak, or give in to their demands. He had to get to Ichigo again, he promised him he would.

"Ok that's enough," Aizen said, entering the cell, looking him over smiling. They froze and backed away, smiling secretly. He walked right over to him, grabbing his face aggressively to make him look at him.

"You won't get out this time, Grimmjaw. I'll kill you just as soon as I get the information I need, don't you worry I will kill you personally this time," He warned, giving him a stern look.

"You might as well kill me now then, I won't talk," Grimmjaw said bitterly, already knowing he'd say this. He was still working on an escape.

"Oh, but you will. I'll make you," He pulled out a knife and put it to his throat.

"You really don't want to die, do you? I can tell you're scared. Maybe I'll let you live if you promise to be good, but first you must talk."

He spit in his face.

"Is that so?" He asked, smiling. "Well then…" He slightly put pressure on the knife, making a small cut.

"You don't scare me Aizen."

"I will ask you again, will you say anything to defend your actions, Grimmjaw?"

"I did it because I love him," He whispered.

"Yes, we all know that, I'm looking for a better reason than that," His smirk was sneaky, as if he was plotting something.

"He asked me to, I can't say no to him."

"You don't deny have a relationship with Kurosaki Ichigo?"

"No," He smiled slightly, remembering Ichigo's last words.

"Where did you leave him?"

Grimmjaw only stared Aizen down challengingly.

"You won't tell me? I beg you to reconsider," He ran the knife down his cheek, leaving a clear cut.

"You can hurt me all you want, but I won't tell you."

Aizen narrowed his eyes and pushed him hard against the wall, walking away.

"Do what you want with him, just don't kill him," He ordered the other arrancar who were in the room. They smirked at each other and went back to torturing the traitor.


	36. Playing the hero

"Hitsugaya Toushiro do you know anything about the whereabouts of Kurosaki Ichigo?" Aizen asked, smiling to innocently.

"No," He stared the ground, while 2 arrancar held him in place.

"I ask you again…"

"Why would I? He only told me he was leaving, he didn't say where!" He yelled, finally meeting Aizen's eyes. His eyes were furious.

"I see, can you give us any valuable information?"

"No, didn't I tell you already? He never told me anything like that."

"Fine you can go, you're useless to me," He waved his hand as dismissal.

"The one you should be questioning is Grimmjaw, not me," He said as they pulled him out of the room.

He smiled.

"Oh yes, I know."

* * *

Isshin unlocked the door as we arrived at my house. I looked unsurprised at the mess before me.

"Yuzu kept it up and I've been unmotivated to clean," He mumbled. I smiled slightly at him

"I know, it must be hard, I came back here last night…"

"I know, when I woke up this morning I somehow knew, so I wasn't surprised when Kisuke called me."

"I'm sorry for not coming back sooner."

"No I understand. It must have been hard for you, too."

"I was lucky." I shrugged. If I didn't have Grimmjaw, I wouldn't be here today.

"So am I, I didn't lose my entire family," Isshin said, smiling at me. I tried to smile. He was so obviously different. This must have really affected him. My poor dad…he was left all alone for so long. How can I make that up top him?

"Ichigo don't blame yourself, I'm fine, this is natural to anyone who's lost someone."

It's as if he was reading my mind.

* * *

My room was strange, after all this time I've spend in that cell. It held so many memories and it was much warmer. I went around touching things. I found the lion Kon use to be in in the corner. I smiled, remembering him, but he was dead, right?

In my closet I could see Rukia sleeping. Everything held memories I couldn't have again. If Rukia didn't come back she couldn't sleep there again and Kon…he was dead. He could never wake me up again or yell at me.

I almost wanted to cry. Why was it I could be here when everyone else was still there? It wasn't fair. It was up to me than, to save them. I can't just leave them there. I know the feeling all to well, of feeling hopeless there. I had to…I promised so many people I would.

I fell asleep, holding Kon, needing some kind of reassurance.

If I couldn't save them, who will?


	37. What I've Done

I'm making up for my absense for the past few days by posting a couple of chapters, I might post more tomorrow since I don't work til 5.

* * *

"Hey Urahara," Chad said, as he entered the shop, "I'm going to train, ok?"

"Wait Sado-san did you hear about Ichigo?"

"What about Ichigo?" Bad situations came to mind. Oh God had he died?

"He has returned," Urahara tried not to smile when Chad's face lit up.

"I'm going to see him," He ran to Ichigo's house, taking a deep breathe before knocking. It had been months since he's entered this house, he couldn't help but feel nervous. Isshin answered, smiling at him.

"You've talked to Kisuke then?" He guessed.

"Can I see him?" He chuckled.

"He actually just went to sleep, but you can hang around til he wakes up if you want,"

"Thank you Mr. Kurosaki!" He smiled a huge smile.

"Call me Isshin."

He let him in and Chad ran up the stairs, opening Ichigo's door. He found Ichigo cuddling up to what use to be Kon. He smiled and sat down on the floor, watching him. He appeared to be having a bad dream.

* * *

Grimmjaw screamed as blood pored out of a wound made by Ulquiorra. Ulquiorra grinned.

"This is revenge for every lie you've told and defying Aizen-sama. You deserve everything you'll get."

"Fuck…you," He whimpered, trying to move hand to cover his wound.

"Tighten the chains!"

Yammy pulled the lever, making the Grimmjaw's wrists go higher, putting him in an even more uncomfortable position.

"All I did was save the one I love," He whispered, "You would have done the same thing with Orihime if you weren't such a little bitch."

"I won't defy Aizen, even if I did love her I had to let her die."

"You were right there, that's …horrible. Always listening to others. Can't you think for yourself?"

Ulquiorra stared at him, dumbfounded. Think for yourself? But he lived for Aizen; he could never do something he wouldn't approve of.

"Are you that weak?"

He was angry now. He stabbed Grimmjaw in the chest; he bit his lip to stop from screaming again.

"You're wrong, I don't deserve this. If Ichigo knew he'd kill you," He screamed.

"He's trash, besides why haven't you tried to kill Aizen then?" He smirked at his reaction.

"W…what?" What did Aizen do to Ichigo?

"Ichigo didn't tell you? He rapped him."

"What? I'll kill him!" He tried to move again but the chains bound him to tightly. He smiled satisfied.

"Aizen will kill you soon, so if you have any last requests…"

"Fuck you."

"No, sorry that's not possible." He went to walk away.

"When I get free I'll kill you too, for everything you've done!"

"Goodbye Grimmjaw, I really hope I don't see you again." He didn't believe a word he said, He wouldn't get free and Aizen wouldn't let him die, right?


	38. Sisters

goodnight everyone...I'm tired. It's way to late to be writing, sorry if this sucks.

* * *

"So what's the story Ichigo?" Chad asked casually as he took a seat on the bed. I threw the lion on the ground and shrugged. I didn't feel like explaining it again. There was other things I needed to do first.

"Chad, will you come to Hueco Mundo with me?" I asked nervously. He might have changed in the time I was gone. It seems everyone else has.

"We already did that, remember to save Orihime," He said, half jokingly.

"Well I promised to go back when I left, so I could save everyone." If I don't save them they'll die…

"You were in Hueco Mundo? Why?"

"It's a long story, I don't feel like explaining it today, but will you? I need your help,"

"Who's 'everyone'?"

"All the surviving soul reapers."

"We should talk to Urahara then, you know I'd help you no matter what, right Ichi?"

"Yeah," I smiled.

"Do you want to go now? Or…"

"I'm actually gonna visit my sisters today with my dad. Do you want to come?" I stared at the floor, seeing their faces in my mind. Whenever Yuzu would visit our mothers grave she'd cry, would I cry? I didn't get to say goodbye, I didn't even know until just yesterday. Was a bad brother?

"Sure."

"Can you tell me something Chad?"

"Yeah, what is it?"

"Was my dad a mess after they were taken? I mean what was he like?"

"He started going to Urahara's shop and the grave yard a lot, but over time he got better, but he was never the same old crazy Isshin, ya know?"

"Were you affected to? Like my dad or Urahara was?"

"Yeah, but I always believed you would come back." That's funny, for a while I thought I was going to be stuck there until I died, but here I am. I hope everyone's ok in Hueco Mundo…I wonder how Shiro's doing without me?

"I need to get there as soon as possible…I need to save them. Tomorrow let's talk to Urahara," He met my eyes in a silent agreement.

* * *

I remember when we'd go there once a year as a family. Now there was only me and my dad, and we had more people to mourn over. Has this place always been so cold? 

We walked in silence and when we got there I set down the flowers we had bought and I stared at the names. It never felt more real than it did at that moment.

Yuzu…Karin…I'm so sorry I couldn't be there for you, but I hope you're happy, wherever you are.

I bit my lip so I wouldn't cry.

"Son it's ok, it was hard the first time for me, too." He must have seen the look on my face. Chad stayed silent, watching my face out of the corner of the eye.

"They're really…gone," I whispered.

"At least there's still us, there's still hope."

Hope? For what?


	39. Planning

I can't think of what to write...but here's a short little chapter. I'll think of something good and post it

* * *

Urahara seemed to think it was a good idea. I think it was mostly revenge for Yoruichi. I was still waiting for him to come to me, I knew he would, it was all just a matter of when. I've been waiting for four days, giving us plenty of time to plan our rescue, but I wasn't leaving without Grimmjaw. He might not want to go though, since he has escaped from there twice, but if he loved me enough he'd do it for me, right? Plus he had friends in there that I'm pretty sure he'd want to save. He had to…

* * *

Grimmjaw fell onto the ground, to weak to catch himself after the chains were unlocked. He laid there for a minute before pulling himself up to look at Gin.

"Aizen-sama is giving you five days to rethink your decision to stay silent. We won't touch you in that time, he's even letting you out of your chains so consider yourself lucky," He said with an evil grin.

"I won't give in," He whispered.

"Oh but you will, you'll see," He left him alone. Grimmjaw leaned against the wall and closed his eyes.

Rethink my decision? No, but I will think of my way out of here. There has to be a way. I just have to think of the perfect plan, so I can see Ichigo again. I'd give anything to see him just one more time. There has to be a way.


	40. Great escape

I could have made some chapters in between this but hey I don't care, I just want to get to the good stuff, because as soon as Grimmjaw's back with Ichigo...you know what that means. Sorry If I made him seem weak in this chapter.

* * *

They obviously wanted to keep Grimmjaw alive because they still fed him. For four days he regained his strength and planned his escape. On the fourth day he had it down. The next day, early, he'd do it, before anyone could stop him.

Normally stupid, lower arrancar were sent to give him his meals so they were easy to overcome. He smiled when he heard the familiar the sound of the door unlocking. As soon as the person entered he jumped up and attacked him. He screamed. He was soon unconscious. Grimmjaw smiled and grabbed the keys, running from the room. He found the Zanpakuto room and found his close to the door, he opened the portal quickly as he heard footsteps nearing him. Before he could jump in the door opened and Gin entered.

"What do we have here?" He asked, with a sly smirk.

"You can't stop me."

Gin ran forward, pulling out his Zanpakuto, stabbing him in the chest. He was to slow to react. He stepped back, shocked he was so easily over come.

"What? I'm stronger than you, don't think you're higher than me, you scum! I won't let you leave."

He touched his wound, feeling the blood. He smiled suddenly.

"But I'm not asking for your permission, If I leave I'm never coming back."

He pulled out his Zanpakuto, swinging at Gin. He smiled and blocked his attacks easily, then moving to attack him again. He stabbed him in his stomach. He froze, surprised. The world started to spin as he fell backwards. Gin tried to follow him but the portal closed before he could.


	41. Found

the next chapter will be longer, I promise.

* * *

I froze when I heard a familiar sound. I quickly tried to get out of the gigai Urahara only made today.

"Goddammit!" I said annoyed. Renji was right, these did suck to get in and out of. When I finally got out, I ran in the direction it came from, ready to fight who ever came from Hueco Mundo to get me. I stopped when I caught sight of familiar teal hair.

"Grim…Grimmjaw? Grimmjaw!" I yelled, running to him. I sat next to him, taking him in. They must have hurt him, he was pretty beaten up.

"My strawberry," He whispered with a smile, before his eyes closed.

"No Grimmjaw! Stay awake, please!" He didn't move and his breathes were shallow. I had to get him to Urahara. I picked him up bridal style and flash stepped to his shop.

* * *

"I've healed his wounds, but it might be a while before he wakes up Kurosaki-kun," Urahara informed me as he left the room Grimmjaw was in.

"That's ok, can I stay with him?" I asked, pleadingly. He almost smiled. I must have seemed pretty pathetic.

"Yes, of course."

I went into the room, sitting next to him, taking his hand tightly.

"You'll come back to me, right?" I whispered. He looked a lot better now. He almost looked peaceful, it was cute. I smiled slightly and laid next to him, gently touching his hair.

"I love you; you have to wake up, ok?"

I must really be going crazy. Talking to someone who's unconscious? But I couldn't help it. It's been over a week since I saw him and who knows what happened to him in that time.

Grimmjaw…I'm so sorry.

* * *

I stayed with him the whole time, I wouldn't leave his side. My dad, Urahara, Chad, they all tried to get me to leave, but I wouldn't leave his side. What if he woke up and no one was here? I refused to eat, all I wanted to do was lay next to him, holding his hand. His face never changed, it stayed peaceful. His wounds were healing nicely, they were just scars after three days. I stayed like this for four days straight. I wouldn't allow myself to sleep, until it over took me, only then did I allow myself to sleep. 


	42. Reunion

If I don't post this tonight you won't see new chapters til next weekend because I work all next week, which kinda sucks but hey it's money. On Sunday and maybe Saturday I should be able to post more but for now I shall leave you with this. I was going to post this earlier but they called me in because like 3 people called in, so that pretty much ruined my plan to write a chapter or two and then watch my Naruto season one (I just bough that, I'm so excited!) anyways enjoy.

Oh btw does anyone know where I can find the last episode of Romeo x Juliet (episode 24…I think) in English subs? I can't find it anywhere and I really want to see how it ends.

* * *

How did I…?

Grimmjaw looked around the room, it was unfamiliar, but this feeling…he felt a familiar warmth on his hand. He smiled when he saw Ichigo's sleeping figure close to him.

I must be in Karakara town then. But how…? I remember fighting Gin and then everything went black. I must have fallen into the portal and then Ichi found me. That's the only thing that makes sense. And my wounds…they're healed.

A huge smile formed on his lips. He must have really taken care of me then. He gently squeezed his hand. He watched his face as his eyes fluttered open.

"Ichi," He whispered.

"Grimm," He said, leaning in to capture his lips.

* * *

(switching to Ichigo's pov)

When I found that he was awake I wanted nothing more than to kiss him to make up for our lost time. I was happy my kiss was returned as I kissed his sweet lips, running my fingers through his hair. We broke apart after a few minutes, smiling at each other.

"I've missed you," He whispered, wrapping his arms around me to pull me closer to him.

"Me too. When I found you I was so scared but Urahara…"

"They couldn't kill me." He snuggled into my neck, brushing his lips against my skin. I shivered in pleasure, closing my eyes as I felt his lips tickle a particularly sensitive spot. He bit down slightly, nibbling playfully. Meanwhile his hands wondered lower. Suddenly I realized what was happening.

I pushed him away, staring shocked.

"What?" He asked, looking offended.

"We can't here; I don't think Urahara would appreciate us making a mess."

He grinned mysteriously.

"Oh, but that's fun,"

"No…let's go to my house." He sighed.

"Fine."

We snuck out, and then walked slowly to my house, holding his hand too tightly. I crawled in through my window so I didn't wake up my dad. When I turned around I met warm lips. I wrapped my arms around his hips, pulling him closer, deepening the kiss.

I stepped back to the bed, pulling him down with me as his lips moved down to my neck. His hands wondered under my shirt, slowly moving up.

"Just so you know, I'm not gonna rush it this time," He said, discarding the garment. I smiled.

"We have all night."

He smiled seductively and attacked my lips again, in a slow kiss, gently sucking on my bottom lip. He quickly undid my pants, sliding them down. I broke away from his lips and undressed him quickly, kissing him again. I slipping my tongue inside his mouth, teasing his. He quickly gained control when he grabbed my member. I gasped when he stroked it ever so gently, driving me over the edge.

He suddenly broke away from my mouth.

"I know you have lube around here somewhere, where is it?" He asked, with a grin. "Did you miss me that much? I didn't know it was so easy to make you hard."

I blushed, realizing he was right.

"It's in the top drawer." I pointed to it. His grin widened and dug through the drawer and found it.

"Strawberry? How ironic."

Strawberry was Renji's favorite. I remember he bought it for my birthday. I wish I hadn't opened that in front of my dad.

Grimmjaw climbed back onto my bed, covering his fingers as he met my eyes.

"Are you ready for this my Strawberry?"

"Yes,"

He leaned in close and whispered into my ear, "I won't hurt you like Aizen did."

Wait he knew?

* * *

sorry...I'm really evil. lol 


	43. Making Love

definetly not one of my best writings...but hey I'm tired. I'm so sorry this sucks so much.

* * *

He pulled back slightly and kissed me deeply. I grabbed onto his neck as he lowered me onto the bed, he teased my nipples as his other hand slowly went down my body, ending at my manhood. Ever so gently he stroked me, before touching my entrance slightly before plunging in with two fingers. I gasped, not use to that feeling. He slipped his tongue in, almost soothingly as he thrust in and out with his fingers, before scissoring me when he had three fingers in and then pulling out, only to position himself by my opening. He broke away from my lips and stared into my eyes as he put strawberry lube on his member and lowered himself to me, his tip just barely entered. I rolled my hips, making him enter me fully. He smiled and began thrusting in and out in an even pace, I gripped his shoulders and moved along with him, my eyes closing unconsciously.

After a while of mixed moans I felt it. He must of felt it too because he sped up and grabbed my neglected member, stroking it and pumping. I came in his hand, then he came inside me. I laid back on my pillow, panting. He moved slightly, reluctantly pulling out, laying next to me. I looked over and saw he was grinning stupidity.

"What?" I whispered.

"Let me clean this up for you," He said, looking to innocent.

"Wha…" I stopped when he lowered his mouth to my member, licking away the come. I gripped onto the sheets as he fully took me in, deep throating me.

"Grimm…" I gasped out. He didn't stop. I bit my lip to stop myself from moaning. This felt so good. Good gods don't stop.

* * *

I fell asleep two hours later, dozing off in Grimmjaw's arms. A faint smile was on my lips. 


	44. Mornings

Hey, sorry for the wait but I usually work late and then I just want to sleep…lately I've really been hating McDonald's…anyways I was going to watch episode 155 of Bleach but I figured I might as well write and post this first. I'll post more tomorrow sometime after 2. Sorry this is so short but I'm not feeling very inspired right now.

* * *

How did Ichigo get so many scars?

He could see a lot on his chest and every where else faintly in the moonlight.

Exactly how many times has he almost died? (I've lost count)

Grimmjaw smiled and slowly started to trace them with one finger. The sleeping boy shivered unconsciously under the touch. He snuggled up to his neck as he continued, silently counting the scars. He noticed bruises on his inner thighs. His smiled widened.

Ok maybe he had been a little to rough…but it had been over a week since he last saw him.

He laced his hand through Ichigo's as he just listened to his even breathing. When he felt himself drifting off he grabbed the covers and covered them up, snuggling close to him.

"Goodnight my strawberry," He mumbled before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.

* * *

I blushed profusely when I woke up, feeling a hand holding my member. Even worse I was hard. Fuck what was I dreaming about? I tried not to struggle out of his hold, instead I leaned back into it. Warm lips kissed my neck, I couldn't help but smile.

"Um Grimm…." I said causally.

"Sorry Ichi," He whispered, removing his hand. My smile widened, until I felt his hard on against my ass.

I twisted around to face him, grinning. Without a word he pulled my face to his, kissing me not so gently. When he pulled away he leaned close to my ear and whispered, "Wanna take a shower?"

Oh yeah this was why I loved him.


	45. Love Me Do

I might have a chapter focused on Hueco Mundo pretty soon. Right now I just want to write cute ichigrimm scenes. lol

* * *

We walked downstairs holding hands and he sat down at the table as I searched the kitchen for something to eat.

"Grimm we might have to go out, there's nothing here," I said after a few minutes of searching. How did my dad survive without any food in the house? What he did have was all expired.

"Sounds good to me, I just want food, I really worked up an appetite," He said with a wink.

So we left and ended up at a cafe a few blocks from my house. We sat across from each other, smiling studiedly. I blushed when his leg rested against mine under the table.

"What can I get for you?" A waitress said, smiling at us.

"Um…get us two cokes," I said, only looking away from him for a second. He was way to distracting.

"Ok, I'll get those for you right away," She said and left.

I leaned back in my chair and eyed him suspiciously.

"What?" He asked with mock innocence.

"You're way to distracting for your own good."

He grinned.

"It's because I'm so good looking right?"

"Oh yeah,"

He leaned forward, and pulled me closer to him.

"Well I think you're sexy, too," He whispered before touching my lips to his briefly. I smiled slightly and took his hand in mine across the table.

After we left the café I took a short cut through an alley, stopping suddenly. He stopped, noticing this, looking curiously at me.

"Have I told you that I loved you since you got here?" I asked, remembering that I hadn't. He shook his head.

"Well I do," I stepped closer to him, touching his cheek with one hand, "Love you I mean, longer than you know."

"Thank you," He whispered before capturing my lips in a wet kiss, his arms circling my waist. His tongue slipped in and massaged mine. My hand dropped from his cheek and found his hair.

I'm not sure how long we stood there.


	46. All I Ask Of You

I'm sorry but I might be able to update all that often, I might Friday since I have that off to but when I started writing this…I had a lot more time so I could update more often but lately I've barely been able to do anything, but I'm not gonna just stop. I like this story and I know you do too. Thank you to anyone who's reviewed, you're the best. And I'm sorry if recent chapters have been completely horrible, I was feeling very uninspired.

* * *

Grimmjaw got out of bed, gathering his clothes, before leaving the room. He smiled at the sleeping figure before he left, stopping short at the bottom of the stairs when he found Isshin in the kitchen.

"Um hello Mr. Kurosaki," He stammered.

"Is Ichigo still sleeping?"

"Yes."

"Good then I can talk to you," He flashed him a cunning grin. Grimmjaw stepped forward and took a seat across from him.

"About?"

"I didn't realize he was keeping a secret until you came around, you know he does a terrible job at hiding things, his reistsu tells all. You didn't think I knew? He wouldn't get that worked up over just anyone," He said, grinning at his shocked expression.

"Yes, well…" He blushed, trying to avoid the other man's eyes.

"It's ok, I'm glad he's happy. I just wish he told me, you know I haven't seen him since the night he took you away from Kisuke's. I knew he had to be up to something."

Grimmjaw could only nod, at a lost for words.

"Grimmjaw I have a question for you."

"What is it?"

"You do realize what my son wants from you, right? Regarding the rescue mission?" He met his eyes in surrender, oh yes it was time to face the music.

"Me to go with him on it, right?"

"It's in the best interest of this being a success, you know that are the best out of anyone here. A mission this big can't simply be hit and miss, we need a sure plan,"

"I realize this, but I can't. I didn't come here to go back."

"Yes, but Ichigo won't let you say no," He smiled slightly at the teal haired boy.

"No, he won't, I hope he doesn't think this will be easy."

"He doesn't, that's why he needs you."

"Old man? What are you doing?" Ichigo's voice made Grimmjaw jump up.

* * *

I woke up, expecting Grimmjaw to be right next to me, but he was gone. I jumped off the bed and looked for his clothes. They were gone too. He must have gone somewhere, but where? I stopped suddenly when I heard voices downstairs.

Shit. My dad.

I panicked, digging through my drawers for clothes and ran downstairs. They looked deep in conversation.

"Old man? What are you doing?" I demanded. Grimmjaw jumped, looking away guiltily. Isshin smiled.

"My son! I haven't seen you for two days, where have you been?"

"Cut the shit, what are you saying to him?"

"Nothing of much importance, why are you worried?" He was enjoying this, I could see it in his eyes. He must have scared Grimmjaw, that's why he wouldn't look at me. Wait a minute…was he smiling?

"What's going on?"

Isshin got up suddenly, making a big event of it.

"Well I'm going to get some breakfast, then we can enjoy a meal together," He said, running out the door. What the hell?

"Ichi, let's sit in the living room," Grimmjaw said, suddenly right my ear. It really must be to early, I didn't even notice him move. He took my hand without a word and pulled me along, settling next to me on the couch.

"What did he say to you Grimm?"

"Nothing much," He whispered before his lips brushed mine. "All you had to do was ask Ichi, if it was you asking I couldn't say no."

"Ask about what?"

"The rescue mission, he said you wanted me to come, but you haven't said anything to me about it since I got here."

"Because I knew you wouldn't want to."

"Well you should know…I can't say no to you."

I smiled. How did he do that? Make me feel so completely…loved?


	47. Judgment

Thank you to everyone who has reviewed/favorited/watched this story. Here's everyone so far: -Kanon-Cannon-50-50-, 100FALLS, AnsemMesna, Clearie552, Fierygirl0, FinalRequiem, GeneralSephiroth, Ketsueki-Yue, Manga-Raven, MissChabre, Naerrchen, Pickle Reviver, Roze Natsu, SakuraxSkies, Shandul-kun, Skeleton Toes, Yoshitaka, animelover143, solinavesi, KamiKaze43v3r, Kariin Aska Shangel, Miastic, Rae-nu, Riri Lee, Sin of Otaku, Sirvns-magick, Tamsin-chan, Twiliblossom, XxTaintedxX, Cola1012003, nanininia, riekie, zeair, zeldagamefan, AuroraRose14 and Dr Silo.

Anyways I said I'd have some Hueco Mundo soon and here it is. Not the best but I can't write anything good lately. (maybe it's because I'm always so tired, but hey, it's almost the end of the semester)

* * *

Ulquiorra stood by Aizen's chair, staring at Aizen, waiting for him to answer him. Aizen smiled.

"Well are we going to go after him or not?" He said impatiently.

"No."

"But Aizen, he-"

"I know what he did, but you know Kurosaki Ichigo will want to save his friends, so why waste our energy when he'll come to us?"

The espada's face dropped. Of course he'd bring that up.

"But maybe if we-"

"No."

"But-"

"Ulquiorra, I've made up my mind. Don't question my judgment."

"I'm not, I'm just suggesting we do something before that can happen."

"Well where's the fun in that?"

Ulquiorra pouted slightly and turned away, walking out of the room without a word, feeling defeated. Aizen's suppose to be on his side. Aizen smiled, satisfied. He'd known all along he wanted to go after Grimmjaw, mostly because he wanted to kill him himself, but Aizen had other plans.

"What's wrong emo boy?" Noitra said out of nowhere, making the green eyed (I love those eyes) boy jump.

"Nothing," He whispered, regaining his composure.

"You're so pathetic, it's funny. If Aizen-sama really wanted to go after him, wouldn't he have already?" Ulquiorra lowered eyes, averting his eyes from the other.

"I don't know."

Noitra laughed out loud.

"That's so funny, you think Aizen cares about you? He only cares about himself, we're just pawns in his plan."

"That's not true!"

"Oh, is it?" He challenged. Ulquiorra mumbled something incoherent and walked away, to tired to fight. He had to believe he cared, because he'd do anything for him.

* * *

Toushiro laid on the uncomfortable bed, smiling slightly, remembering all the good times him and Ichigo had. He'd been gone for over 2 weeks now. He really hoped he was trying to plan some escape for them. He promised him, and he didn't seem like the type to lie about that.

"Hitsugaya Toushiro." He sat up, startled. He was surprised to find someone very much unfamiliar. He had pale skin, black hair and green eyes.

"Yes?" He whispered. The man opened the door and grabbed his hair before he could protest. He pulled him out of the cell, taking him somewhere. Toushiro stared up at him with wide eyes. What did he want from him?


	48. Torment

this is a little late I know, I'm sorry. I'm not very good at updating regularily...lol

* * *

"Hitsugaya Toushiro." He sat up, startled. He was surprised to find someone very much unfamiliar. He had pale skin, black hair and green eyes.

"Yes?" He whispered. The man opened the door and grabbed his hair before he could protest. He pulled him out of the cell, taking him somewhere. Toushiro stared up at him with wide eyes. What did he want from him?

Toushiro was pushed against the wall by Ulquiorra. He rubbed his head as he met the arrancars eyes.

"What the fuck do you want?" He yelled.

"You have to know something," The determined arrancar said.

"What?" He asked, dumbfounded.

Ulquiorra smiled and grabbed his neck, pushing him hard against the wall again.

"What is Kurosaki Ichigo's plan?" His eyes were burning with passion, he had to know so he could finally defeat Grimmjaw.

"How the fuck should I know? I haven't seen him in weeks."

"Liar!" He let him go and stepped back slightly. Toushiro fell to the ground coughing. When he recovered he glared at the other man as he stood up.

"Bastard."

"You were his cell mate, you have to know something."

"I already told Aizen I didn't."

"You could…"

"I don't know shit, so leave me the fuck alone."

Blue eyes met his furious eyes. The soul reaper tried to step away from him but he only met the wall. Ulquiorra stepped slowly to him, leaning close to his face.

"I will kill Grimmjaw and you'll help me," He whispered, with a sly grin.

"I refuse to be part of your little plan," He said, pushing him away forcefully.

"Oh yeah?" The arrancar was ready to fight him; he would easily win, considering he was so much stronger. It wouldn't take long and no one would ever have to know…

"Ulquiorra, stop," A voice suddenly said. The arrancar froze.

"Gin, please, I have to do something," He whispered.

"Yes, you have to listen to Aizen. Now leave that boy alone."

"Yes sir."

Toushiro caught sight of a familiar evil grin in the shadows of the doorway.

* * *

"Isshin what's wrong?" Urahara asked, after finding him at his front door. The other man smiled.

"Grimmjaw's going to come with us to Hueco Mundo."

"Yes, I know he would," He said in a bored tone.

"Have you talked to the vizard's? Are they going to help us?"

"They are considering it. Could you do me a favor?"

"Anything," Isshin perked up instantly.

"Tell your son to come see me today, there's something I must tell him."


	49. Caught

Sorry you'll have to wait to hear what Urahara has to say. Lol. I've just had this envisioned in my head for a while, I couldn't resist writing it.

* * *

I had no control over him. I was his thing to play with. No matter what you say I couldn't resist his touch. Not even in my father's house where I know he could walk in and catch us.

He left wet kisses down my neck as he slowly, almost sneakily slipped his hand in my pants.

"Fuck, didn't we just do this last night?" I panted out, as I blushed.

"So? Is it wrong to want to taste more of my strawberry?" He whispered with a grin as he got to his objective, softly stroking it. I moaned in pleasure. His grin widened and he took my lips to his again in a deep kiss. I gave in to his touch as he pumped me. I held on to his shoulders tightly. Ever so casually he slipped his tongue in my mouth, bringing our tongues together.

"Ichi…go."

Shit. I knew this would happen!

I pushed him off me quickly, blushing even more. My dad was smirking, like he wanted to say something really embarrassing.

"Son, what did I tell you about no sex in my house?"

Oh there it was.

Grimmjaw snickered, amused, as my face grew redder.

"Sorry Isshin it won't happen again."

Oh how I hated him. That son of a bitch. I'll kill him.

"I…I got to go!" I ran out of the room, going to the bathroom to take a cold shower. I had to get rid of this boner and Grimmjaw wasn't going to help. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

* * *

I went to Urahara's alone. I wasn't about to face that bastard. He'd probably make some comment about my dad walking in. He enjoyed embarrassing me. The bastard.

Isshin had finally managed to tell me Urahara wanted to see me after he stopped laughing. Oh fuck them both. They're lucky if I come back tonight.

What does he want anyways? Did he come up with a plan to rescue everyone? He didn't seem too fond of my idea to just storm in and kill anyone who gets in the way. He must want revenge of his own. Or maybe he thinks that will only get them hurt. Whatever it is, it must be good. I have to trust him, he's helped me countless times before. If it weren't for him I wouldn't have been able to save Rukia or…Orihime.

But Orihime was dead now, all because of me. If it wasn't for me, she wouldn't have even been involved in that war. She'd be Karakura Town right now. She'd be alive. How could I let this happen? I should have told her not to come, but she was so determined to do something, to help, how could I refuse? But how could I ever forget finding her dead on the battle field? Bleeding and broken…those fucking arrancar's are going to pay for what they did.


	50. Memories Of The War

This is more like a bunch of drabbles, I realize, but I thought it'd be nice to show a different side of the war. Besides I haven't even said that much about, have I? I'm such a bad writer. Lol.

* * *

"Kurosaki-kun, I want to come," She looked up at me with pleading eyes.

"What? No, this isn't just some mission it's…"

"I know what it is, but I want to help. For once. Please, will you let me? I won't get in the way." I smiled slightly. She smiled back.

"Sure Orihime. Just promise me this won't be your last fight," Her smile didn't fade. Her face grew determined.

"Of course it's not. Just believe in me." How could I resist? She was one of my best friends, of course I believed in her. I just would hate to see her get hurt, but if she thought she could manage…

"Ok."

"Thank you."

* * *

She held on to my hand as she saw how many people were injured. Squad 4 members were at hard work trying to heal their wounds. She looked like she was going to cry.

"Orihime," I said softly. She faced me, a tear slip down her cheek. Her face was grave. She hugged me suddenly, holding on tightly, crying. I let her, because I knew she was hurting. I held on to her, whispering soothing things. It was all I could do.

* * *

"Ishida hasn't come back Ichigo, should we look for him?" She asked as she sat down next to me. She had been pacing for at least half an hour.

"No, he'll be fine."

"But there's people stronger than him…"

"No one could beat Ishida. Even if they were stronger," I tried to sound more confident than I felt. To tell you the truth I was scared, too. It wasn't like him to just not come back.

"You're right, I'm sure he's fine, you're always right." I wish I was. You shouldn't have so much faith in me. If he's dead…I can't help him.

* * *

"Ichigo," I was shaken awake. I groggily opened my eyes. I found Rukia sitting next to me. Light was seeping in. What time was it?

"Ichigo, listen to me. You have to get Orihime, ok?"

"But, why?"

"Squad 11 went out early today and they found…" She bit her lip as if she was going to cry. I sat up, instantly worried.

"What did they find?"

"Ishida, they found Ishida. He's dead, Oh God he's dead," She started to cry. I put my arm around her and she used my shoulder as a pillow.

Oh god he was dead…not Ishida…but why? I almost cried, but I wouldn't allow myself. I had to stay strong until the end.

* * *

I've seen plenty of death. I've seen the enemy fall right before my eyes but I showed no remorse. They deserved to die, but the soul reapers? Orihime? Chad? Ishida? They didn't deserve to die. They should be able to live a nice long life. They shouldn't be here. What are we fighting for? I've forgotten. All that matters is that I keep who I can alive. It was to late for Ishida, but everyone else…most everyone else…was still ok. They'd still make it, right?

* * *

Urahara's scream still rings in my ears. His scream for her death. Yoruichi's. It was terrible seeing him like that, as if he only wanted to kill. I wasn't use to seeing him like that. I was use to seeing him smiling and sarcastic. Someone like that just doesn't seem real unless they're annoying you. Someone like that doesn't deserve to lose their best friend.

* * *

Captain Yamamoto tried to get Aizen to surrender. He said there was no need for so much blood to be spilt. Aizen just grinned and said he was stupid. There was no other way to solve this. He claimed defeat. It pleased him to see him give up.

After it was settled I went for a walk with Rukia, to try to find our friends who failed to come back.

"They're fine, I'm sure," We kept saying, as if that would satisfy us. Never seeing them dead would make us happy, as long as we could hope.

"Ichigo! Rukia!" That was Chad's voice! He was alive.

"Sado-kun, you're alright," Rukia said, sighing relieved.

"Yes, but Orihime isn't," His voice was grave. Was she…dead?

"She might still make it, but only if we get her help now."

"Take us to her," I whispered. He nodded, leading us there. I saw her instantly. I ran to her, sitting next to her, taking her hand in mine.

"Are you ok?" I said, my eyes filled with worry. She smiled.

"Kurosaki-kun, I'm so glad I got to see you. Thank you for letting me come," Her voice was weak. A tear escaped my eye.

"No, don't talk like that, you're getting out of here." I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her close. I felt blood, but I ignored it.

"Thank you. I hope I didn't disappoint you. I tried…to fight," Her eyes fluttered shut. My eyes widened with panic.

"No! Stay awake. Please, Orihime," I shook her, to keep her awake. Her hand loosened in mine. More tears came.

"I love you," I faintly heard her say when she went weak in my arms.

"No, Orihime, NO!" I screamed, sobbing against her.

* * *

I sat next to Chad, feeling numb.

"Chad…we were suppose to protect her."

"Don't blame yourself Ichigo, it couldn't be helped. You know how weak she was,"

"But Orihime..she's suppose to be here with us! But she's…she's…" Tears formed in my eyes. Shit I can't cry again. Renji and Rukia looked at me, surprised.

"Ichigo, it's ok," Rukia whispered, trying to sooth me.

"No, it's not. We failed to protect her."

"I know," Chad said regrettably.

* * *

Wow this sounds like an ichiorhime…wow.. I just realized that… 


	51. Plans

I know it's been a while and I'm so sorry but I've been busy and unmotivated and now I'm just thinking of skipping ahead to the rescue and what comes after because I'm just really stuck on what to write. I might write a lemon before that though. I don't know…if anyone has any ideas let me know.

some of the characters might be a little off in this chapter but whatever, I wrote their part a long time ago and I don't feel like changing it.

* * *

"Ah Kurosaki-kun! How nice of you to stop by," Urahara said with a stupid grin. 

"You told me to come, didn't you?"

"Well yes, but after this morning…" I blushed again. Of course my dad told him! I'll kill him. Urahara laughed.

"I'll tell you what I found out. I rather on accident found a raiatsu and well…" He signaled toward Tessai. The bigger man grinned and opened the door.

"What…but how…?" I choked out when I saw Captain Yamamoto, Kyouraku, Kurotsuchi and Ukitake walk in.

"You haven't changed," Ukitake said with a smile.

"How did you escape?"

"Easy, we are captains you know," Kyouraku said, looking bored.

"Do not think we are as weak as you," Yamamoto said sternly. I wanted to shrink away into the shadows.

"Why don't we all have a seat and then talk?" Urahara offered with a phony smile. We sat down without a word. I couldn't look at any of them. How stupid could I be?

* * *

Grimmjaw waited impatiently in the kitchen. Isshin smiled, amused. 

"Don't worry, he'll be back."

"I know, I'm just bored." He sighed and got up, heading toward the door.

"Where are you going?"

"Nowhere, I just need some air."

Grimmjaw wandered toward Urahara's, following Ichigo's reiatsu. He grinned suddenly, noticing it move toward him.

* * *

Urahara asked me to bring Grimmjaw by sometime so we could make a good plan. He was essential after all. I could barely say anything with the captains in the room. I was so ashamed that I failed Soul Society. This rescue would make up for that though. It had to. 

I left without a word, deep in thought. I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw Grimmjaw waiting for me outside. A smile unconsciously formed on my lips.

"How long have you been waiting?" I asked. He shrugged.

"Not long, your house is so boring without you. You shouldn't just leave me like that."

"Sorry, it won't happen again."

"Good." He stepped forward, staring me right in the eyes. I met him half way, grinning as our lips brushed together.

* * *

I hated him for so easily making me forgive him. I hated that with one touch I turned to mush. 

Now how am I going to give him up?

The plan was set. We had 3 days to prepare, to train. Me and Grimmjaw took to fighting it out in Urahara's basement. He was as ruthless as ever, even when we were on the same side.

Grimmjaw told us all about Aizen and his hatred toward him. He wanted to kill him himself. I just wanted to save my friends, how could any of tell him no? We wanted the same things.

Aizen wanted power. Well we already knew this. Anyways in my mind I was thinking back to before Grimmjaw got me out, what Aizen had said to me. Secretly I was forming my own plan, but I wouldn't reveal this to anyone. I knew they'd try to convince me not to do, especially Grimm. He'd fight for me, I know, but I didn't want him to. I had to do this. No ones going to change my mind.


	52. Decisions

Ok I'm sorry…again. I'm so bad at updating lately but hey I got 20 pages written on notebook paper soooo I'll try to get a lot up this weekend. It's a 4 day weekend for me. I'm so happy. I'm serious this time! I'll do it. Lol. Hey can anyone tell me something first, before I post the next chapter? Cuz for the life of me I can't remember what it's called…ya know the soul reapers have the flash step, and the arrancars have something like that, what is it called? 

Oh before I start I have to say one thing. I AM SO HAPPY GRIMMJAW IS BACK! When he came in at the end of that one episode I was like freaking out. My stepdad said I sounded like a school girl. Lol but hey I love him to pieces and he wasn't in the episodes for the longest time. He is so fucking hot, I'm excited for the ichigrimm fight, I read the manga and it was awesome (yeah I know, but I had to see what was going to happen) Anyhoo I'm done. Enjoy.

Lemon in this chapter 

* * *

My dad was looking at me strangely, even Grimm looked confused. 

"I said I don't think we need to bring to many people with us, especially Captain Yamamoto. We should keep the strongest people here just in case," I repeated.

"But Ichi that doesn't make any sense," Grimmjaw spoke up, "Shouldn't we bring the strongest people?"

"He's thinking about what will happen once we get our friends back. If we don't have strong leaders, how will we rebuild our world?" Urahara offered, looking in my direction. I nodded. Yes, something like that…

"Yes, but Kurosaki-san won't you need them? That's why we got them to come to us, to help us," Chad asked.

"We'll be fine. I think 5 people will be enough."

"But Ichi…" Grimmjaw tried to intervene again. 

"Fine, son whatever you want," My dad said, sighing defeated. I smiled slightly.

"Thank you for trusting me on this."

* * *

I have a theory that Ichi is planning something. That's why he only wants a few people to come. He's planning something that's involving him sacrificing 

himself, isn't he? No, he wouldn't do that. He wouldn't leave me. He loves me to much to do that…right?

You can never be sure with him. Why does he seem so far away tonight? 

"Grimm," He whispered.

"Yes Ichi?" I tried not to smile as he lowered his lips to mine. I grabbing his hair and pulled him closer, trapping him in my arms. This was our last night before leaving, after that who knows what will happen. All I wanted to do was make love to him right here and now. 

He sat down on the bed and opened his mouth under my lips; my tongue met his in a hot kiss. His hands fisted my hair as I lowered him down on the bed, pushing deeper into his hot cavern, touching any skin I could reach when clothes still separated us. He rubbed our erections together, we both moaned at the same time. 

In no time all our clothes were torn off and tossed aside. I broke our passionate kiss and thumbled around for the lube. He smiled through half lidded eyes.

"It's under the bed Grimm," He said, amused. I smirked and pulled it out. I opened it, but stopped when I thought of something.

"What are you waiting for?" 

"Ichi want to be on top?" I asked, smirking. He smiled and grabbed the tube from me. I laid back on the bed, watching him as he covered his manhood with the lube. He looked at me nervously. He was so cute.

"You don't have to prepare me Ichi, I just want you to fuck me," I said, grabbing his thin waist and pulling him toward me. He relaxed in my grasp and kissed me hard on the lips. I kissed back, running my tongue over his bottom lip. He opened up and positioned himself over my entrance. I arched my hips up to meet his. He moaned into my mouth and lowered himself into me, his tip just barely entering me. I shuddered at the contact. 

"Grimm, I've never done this before," He mumbled against my lips. 

"'s ok, just move berry." 

I grabbed his waist and urged him forward. He pulled out and went back in, this time down to the hilt. He moved his lips from mine and moved them to my neck, playfully teasing me. I smiled as we started a slow rhythm. I slipped my 

hand into his so he wouldn't be so nervous. When I started to move with him, he stopped his assault on my neck for a second, playfully biting down, before moving lower to my chest, leaving butterfly kisses. I tried not to scream when he brushed my prostate, which was harder than I thought it'd be. 

"You're so fucking tight Grimm, is this your first time being the uke?" He whispered huskily into my ear as he pounded back into my prostate deliberately. I let out a loud moan, unable to hold it in. His lips found mine again, forcing his tongue in. All I could do was drown in ecstasy as his skilled hands touched me everywhere, ending at my penis, pumping it in time with the thrusts. I came all over his hand in no time. He pounded into my prostate a few more times before he came, too. He stopped, just lying on top of me. I smiled at his flushed face as he caught his breathe. He met my eyes for a moment and then kissed me tenderly on the lips. I felt my heart skip a beat. 

"I love you," He whispered when he pulled away, keeping a hold on my eyes.

"I love you too Ichi."

* * *

I woke up feeling strong arms around me. I blushed when I realized I was still inside Grimmjaw. I timidly pulled myself out and lay down next to him, wrapping his arms back around me. I stared at him as he slept. He looked so cute. So innocent. This is probably the only time he could pull that off.

After tomorrow…if it works…what will happen? To him? To me?

I never fucked him before, hell Renji never let me when we were together or whatever you'd call it. He liked having control and maybe it made him feel less guilty about everything, but with Grimm it was so different. He _loved_ me. All I wanted was him…not to give up all this, but if I didn't do anything how would I know for sure if we'd save them? That's all that matters to me right now. I made a promise. 

No matter how good it felt…no matter how much I love him…I have to do it. 


	53. Returning to Hueco Mundo

* * *

Hey hey. Thank you for responding to my question, you guys are the best. Anyways here's the next chapter. 

* * *

I felt like I had to get away. From him. From everyone. So I got up early, took a shower (by myself for the first time this week) and took walk. I ended up by the river my mother died. I always found it was a good place to think. 

* * *

Ichigo was gone when I woke up. 

"Ichi…? I was talking to myself. Of course he was gone. Maybe he went somewhere. He was hiding his reistsu. I couldn't sense it at all. When did he learn to do that?

I had to go to Urahara's all by myself, because he never showed up. It was starting to worry me. I thought maybe he'd be there. I waited outside for 15 minutes before he showed up. I was day dreaming when I felt familiar lips touch mine. I smiled when I met his chocolate eyes. I grabbed his hair and pulled him closer, his mouth opened beneath mine. 

I almost gave in when his tongue reached my lips. Than I came to my senses.

I pushed him away quickly. He looked hurt. I almost regretted it.

"Where were you?" I demanded. He smiled.

"Nowhere, it doesn't matter," He tried to claim my lips again. I stepped out of his reach. 

"You said you wouldn't leave me alone again." I must have sounded pathetic, but I didn't care. 

"What the fuck does it matter? I'm…I mean we're leaving anyways," He said, looking down quickly. 

I'm. What? Is he really gonna…?

"Grimm, please let me touch you." I melted under his touch. His mouth crashed into mine, but this time I didn't object. His hands ran through my hair, pushing me against the wall. I moaned loudly as his tongue probed my mouth. 

A cough woke me up.

I tried to pull away, but he stopped me, gently kissing me. He pulled away, before I could enjoy it.

"Are we going now?" He asked, without looking away from me. 

"Yeah," Chad answered quietly. He frowned, pulling away, slipping his hand into mine. All I could do was stare in awe, he looked so very _defeated._

* * *

Hueco Mundo was as last time. The only difference was I knew where we were going, or Grimm did anyways. With him by my side I felt somehow it was going to be ok.

* * *

"Aizen-sama?" A lower rank arrancar asked, seeing his leaders smile suddenly widen. 

"Ah Kurosaki Ichigo has returned to us, this should be fun," He said, smugly. "Gin."

Upon hearing his name he stood up.

"Prepare for a fight, the shinigami's are trying to rescue their friends."

Gin's smiled widened.

"Oh really?"

* * *

Ulquiorra looked up when he heard the door open.

"Oh it's you," He said when he saw the familiar silver haired man. Gin smirked.

"Now, don't be like that. I have good news for you," Ulquiorra's face brightened at the mention of good news. "Grimmjaw's back." 

Than he froze. 

"How do you know?" He asked, uncertain.

"Because Kurosaki Ichigo's here and we all know if he's here…" 

"Are you telling me you'll let me kill him?"

"Yes, if you bring the shinigami to Aizen-sama."

"Oh that won't be a problem."

Suddenly he felt like this day was going to be 100 times better. He always wanted to kill Grimmjaw and now he had a chance.

* * *

"…Kurosaki….Aizen…kill…" Hitsugaya tried to be discreet as he tried to hear what the 2 rushed guards were saying, which is easier said than done. He brightened up at the mention of Ichigo. Did he finally come back? Was he going to be saved?

He had found that listening to the guards was the best way to get information, which got pretty boring, but today was interesting. 

Ichigo, please save us. 

* * *

"Code red, Code red! Las Noches has been breached!" 

Gin smiled. Yes, the fun had finally begun. 

The guards were rushing around. Something was going on.

"Toushiro, what's going on?" Kenpachi asked from the next cell. I smiled.

"I think Ichigo's here," He met my eyes, grinning. 

* * *

"Listen we're gonna keep to the plan, don't split up from your group and don't die. We only have two objectives here: save our friends and kill Aizen. Jaggerjack-san, Kurosaki-san, you know what to do," Urahara nodded at us, giving us a meaningful. It was up to us to kill Aizen. Everyone else was to fight whoever got in their way and distract them. 

"Let's go!"

We split up, going in different directions, Chad with my dad and Urahara with Ukitake. Grimm took my hand and sonidoed with me without a word. 

"Ichi, leave Aizen to me," He said, not looking at me.

"No Grimm," I tried to object. 

"I always wanted to kill him, just please let me kill him," He said with strange passion, looking me in the eyes for a second.

"Ok," 

Dropping my hand, Zanpakuto ready, he took down someone who tried to attack and than keep going. 

"Ichi keep up, we have to be ready, this place is bound to be crawling with people who want to kill us. They knew we were here the moment the portal opened," He said, grabbing on to Pantera securely. I followed suite, trusting that he was right.

"Isshin, why did you come?" Chad asked as he delivered the finishing blow to an arrancar.

"To support my son, he's all I have left, what about you Chad?"

"These people killed my friends, I wasn't gonna let more people die."

"I'm sorry about Ishida and Orihime. I know it was hard on Ichigo, too. I know what it feels like to lose someone you love," He said, trying to choose his words carefully. 

"Yeah," He said quietly. Isshin smiled and grabbed his arm. 

"Come on than, we have to save some life's." Chad smiled at him before running along with him. 


	54. Sweet Surrender

* * *

You're gonna hate me…but don't worry it will be a happy ending.

* * *

"I'm not as young as I use to be Kisuke," Ukitake said, taking a break to breathe. Urahara smiled.

"Of course, but you still came. How did you convince Kurosaki-san to let you come?"

"He can be a push over," He said smiling.

"Let's just try to get out of here alive, I don't think he'd like it if you died when you were trying to help."

"I know, I can do it,"

* * *

"Aizen-sama the intruders…"

"Yes, I know Gin. Where is Ulquiorra?" Aizen asked, bored.

"Waiting for him, he said he'd bring the boy to you if I let him kill Grimmjaw," Gin said, smiling slightly.

"Very well, you will tell me when he's found?"

"Of course,"

"Thank you, you are dismissed," He waved his hand passively. He took his leave with a huge grin.

* * *

"Come on Ichi, don't slow down yet, we need to get to Aizen," Grimm said, trying not to lose patient with him.

"I'm fine," I said, knowing full well what was happening.

"No, something's wrong. What is it? You haven't been yourself since you got here," He said, stepping close to me. I almost wanted to push him away. I didn't want to be the one to break his heart.

"I'm fine," I said more firmly and shunpoed ahead of him.

"Ichi…" He whispered, before speeding up to match my pace.

I'm sorry Grimm.

* * *

"Stop, Ichi Stop, we're almost there," Grimmjaw said suddenly. I stopped and looked over at him.

"It's not gonna be safe around here, watch your back," He said cautiously. I looked away from him when I heard footsteps. Grimmjaw stiffened up and froze.

"Shit it's…"

Ulquiorra. My eyes widened when I saw him stare at us knowingly.

"Ah Grimmjaw, how nice to see you again."

"Ulquiorra," He said with no emotion. He smiled a strange smile and than his greens eyes met mine.

"Kurosaki Ichigo, Aizen is waiting for you, although I can't see why. You're nothing but trash. I will bring you to him no matter how willing you may be."

"I..I will go," I said, shaking slightly. Afraid of what was going to happen.

"What? Don't give in so easily, Ichi, you…" He smiled suddenly. He thought it was a way to get to Aizen safely to kill him. That didn't even cross my mind.

"Very well," The pale arrancar said, leading the way.

"You are a genius Ichi," He whispered as we followed him. I couldn't say anything. My heart was breaking.

When we got to a door he paused for a moment.

"I highly advice you don't do anything stupid," He mumbled before entering. I let out a breathe I didn't realize I was holding. Inside it was white, like the rest of this place I've seen, and I saw a few familiar faces and than there was Aizen in a chair in the middle of the room, Gin by his side. They were expecting us. Ulquiorra took a place by Gin and than there was silence.

"Did you agree to come because you want to kill me, Kurosaki Ichigo?" Aizen asked, breaking the silence. He wore a sickening smile, as if he thought he knew everything.

"No."

"I wanted to kill you actually," Grimmjaw jumped in. Aizen's smile widened.

"Of course, what are you waiting for?" His tone was challenging. Grimm never would turn down a challenge, he must know this. I surveyed the room, everyone looked ready to attack at any second. Grimm stepped forward, they stiffened. Oh shit he may not make it. I don't want him to die. Oh god Grim…I'm sorry.

"Wait!" I yelled. Everyone's eyes followed me. Grimm looked shocked.

"I didn't come to kill you, I came to negotiate," I said quietly, meeting Aizen's eyes for a second.

"Oh?" Aizen asked, looking interested. Grimm's eyes widened and turned cold.

"Shit, Ichigo this wasn't part of the plan, what are you doing?" He said, angrily. I averted my eyes away from his, because I knew it'd mess up my plan if I was looking at him.

"I'm saving my friends, I'm sorry."

"What are you willing to negotiate, Kurosaki Ichigo?"

"My life, take me, whatever you want, just please let them go. I'll give you anything…" I looked down at the ground. I heard someone snicker. Grimm gasped.


	55. Fighting for my love

Sorry I didn't get to typing this last night, but my stepdad was bugging me and I don't really like to write when other people are around. Especially my stepdad, he'll look at what I'm doing and it's so annoying. Anyways enjoy.

* * *

"What are you willing to negotiate, Kurosaki Ichigo?"

"My life, take me, whatever you want, just please let them go. I'll give you anything…" I looked down at the ground. I heard someone snicker. Grimm gasped.

"Anything you say? Ok it's done, Gin let them go," He mumbled a rely and left the room. "Ichigo you are to stay here and I will do as I please to you. Do you have any last requests?"

"Anyone who came with me…let them go too. They didn't do anything."

"No! Fuck Ichigo you can't do this!" Grimm yelled, I still wouldn't look at him.

"Silence Grimmjaw. Do you want to get out of here or not?"

"I will not listen to you anymore, you bastard. You can't have him!"

"Grimm…stop," I whispered. He looked at me accusingly suddenly.

"You were planning this, you were planning this all along! Please," He took a deep breathe and than whispered, "don't do this, please. I need you, I know you want to save them but there's other ways."

"It's already done, now step away from him, he's _mine_ now," He said, stepping toward us.

"No!" He wrapped his arms around me tightly, but was quickly forced off. I looked up and saw Ulquiorra holding him back with a dangerous look. He pulled him toward the door, but Grimm pushed him off with a growl. I could only stare, to shocked to move.

They were treating me like property.

"I'm not leaving without you Ichi, you can't just abandon me like this, not after everything I've done…" He said, meeting my eyes again. My heart sank. He looked so sad. He had done a lot, he saved me, he escaped. For me. If that wasn't love I didn't know what was.



"But you are, now leave before I order Ulquiorra to kill you," Aizen said in a threatening tone.

"Fuck you. Your words mean nothing to me," He said, his eyes filling with hatred. Oh shit what was he going to do?

"Oh, but they should," His smile widened. My eyes widened when I saw Ulquiorra pulling out his Zanpakuto, smiling a cocky smile.

"No!" I screamed, but it was to late. Ulquiorra stabbed him in the chest. His eyes widened and fell to the ground. He had been distracted, if it was any other case he would have been ready. It was all my fault.

"Ichi," He gasped out, holding his chest. I stepped toward him, sitting next to him, touching his cheek gently.

"Grimm, I'm sorry," I whispered so no heard. He smiled slightly as his eyes shut. Only than was I aware of the tears funning down my face. I wiped them away before standing up and looking at Aizen in confusion.

"But you…you promised…" I whispered, almost desperately.

"He will survive," He said, not trying to hide his smile. The bastard.

"You didn't have to hurt him!"

"Shhh my pet, perhaps you don't understand what _you_ asked for."

I gulped as he stepped forward and reached out to touch my face. It took all my strength to stop from pulling away. His touch was surprisingly gentle as he stroked my cheek, leaning in closer.

"Now that you've settled down, we can get you settled in, yeah? I'll have Tousen (AN: I know I haven't mentioned him at all, I kinda forgot about him…lol…but yeah I had to put him in somewhere) show you to your room," He said quietly, I could only tremble under his touch. He smiled and then kissed me. I didn't kiss back, I couldn't do anything. "Tousen," He said as he walked away.

"Yes, Aizen-sama," He said, grabbing my arms forcefully.

"Be nice, he's our guest," Aizen said. He must have had eyes in the back of his head.

"Yes, Aizen-sama," He said, looking annoyed.

* * *

The doors suddenly opened. Hitsugaya stared cautiously, as if it was a trick.

"Attention prisoners, you have been released. That is all," A voice said over the intercom. Murmurs could be heard all around him. He smiled slightly, realizing what happened. The guards were talking about Ichigo, he must be here. But Ichigo, what did you do?

Slowly he stepped out of the cell, looking around the corner. He wasn't the only one venturing out.

"Toushiro! Come on, Ichigo saved us!" Rukia's familiar voice screamed out of nowhere. "Come on, everyone, come on!"

More people came out, looking around shyly. She kept screaming encouragingly. She ran to Hitsugaya and grabbed his arm.

"Wait," He said quickly, before walking to Kenpachi's cell. "Come on, let's go." He smiled and followed without a word.


	56. Reasurrance

so shoudl I put a ichiaizen lemon in at some point? I've never liked that pairing, but I could do it. since you won't be seeing a ichigrimm one for a while...

* * *

"Oh dear there's more than I thought," Urahara said, looking thoughtful, looking around at all the shinigami around him.

"Kisuke where is my son?" Isshin said, running up to him, Chad at his heals.

"I don't know, but he must have done something," He said, with a smile. They appeared out of nowhere, the number who survived was over whelming. He was just thankful he could save them. He wanted to finish this mission for Yoruichi. To get revenge for what they did to her. He would never forgive them.

"Urahara!" Rukia came running up to him, breathing heavily.

"Ah Mrs. Kuchiki! I'm so happy to see you."

"Ichi..Ichigo. Where is he? What did he do?" She asked, looking determined.

"We don't know anything yet, I'm sorry," Her eyes turned dark.

"Kisuke, we have company," Isshin whispered suddenly. Both Urahara and Rukia turned to look. There stood a familiar arrancar, the pale, green eyed one, who was smirking at them. Rukia shuddered unconsciously.

"I'm not going to harm you, just leave and don't come back. Here have this trash," He said, throwing a familiar blue haired boy in front of them. Rukia gasped at the bloody sight. "Don't worry, he'll be fine once you heal him." He went to leave, but Isshin stopped him.

"My son, where is my son you bastard!" He screamed. Ulquiorra smirked again.

"Probably with Aizen," and then he was gone.

"Ichigo, he didn't…" He whispered, with a shocked look on his face.

"He sacrificed himself?" Urahara whispered, equally shocked.

They never knew. They should have known. Now all they had to go on was Grimmjaw and he wasn't looking so good. Rukia sat down next to him, making sure he was alive. She smiled when she caught a slight pulse.

Yes, there was still hope.

* * *

Everyone got their Zanpakutos and left, not wanting to stay longer than they had to. The biggest challenge though was where was everyone going to stay? Since Aizen destroyed Soul Society. Urahara could only keep so many.

"Mr. Kurosaki, could we stay with you?" Rukia asked shyly, holding Renji's hand. He had a slight glow to him.

"Of course my third daughter and Kisuke, please take care of Grimmjaw. Ichigo wouldn't forgive us if we let him die," He said, his tone serious.

"Understood," He knew exactly what Isshin meant.

* * *

Ururu and Tessai stared at the blue haired Espada, shocked.

"What happened to him?" Tessai asked. Ururu bit her lip nervously.

"I don't know, we'll just have to wait until he wakes up." Why was this situation not getting any better?

"And Ichigo?" The girl whispered. He only shook this head.

"I don't know, Tessai you know what to do, don't stop until he's fully healed. We need him, he has answers," he said, obviously changing the subject.

"Yes, of course manager," He quickly agreed.

"Now if you excuse me we have guests to settle in," He got up, acting as if everything was normal.

"Alright Ururu we have work to do," He said.

"Ok."

* * *

What have I done? Why am I here? Was this just a bad idea?

Grimm…

I tried to stop the tears from coming, but they spilt over. I wiped them away quickly and wrapped myself deeper in the blankets, which were quite warm.

I can't sleep. Is it because I'm here or was it because of what they did to Grimm? Seeing him like that…it broke my heart. I felt so hopeless, as if I couldn't help him. I know I disappointed him…please don't die. Please. I don't know what I'd do if I lost him forever. Life wouldn't be worth living.



The door opening unfazed me. I figured it'd be another one of the arrancars curious about the new arrival.

"Ichigo," Aizen's voice surprised me. How much time has passed? Did they get out ok?

"Come for a walk with me," He commanded. Did I have a choice?

"Ichigo," He said, more firmly.

"Ok," I said, utterly defeated. I struggled to get up. He came over to me and grabbed my hands to pull me up. He looked closely at my face. Were my eyes red?

"What's wrong?"

I turned my face away from him.

"Maybe you need a reassurance what you did was worth it," I looked at him confused. "Come," He pulled me up and pulled me out of the room, slipping his hand in mine.

If only it was Grimm's…

He brought me to a familiar place, but the faces of my friends were gone. All traces of them gone.

"I can assure you they're gone. I can't tell you where they went of course. Your people took them. And Grimmjaw, I told Ulquiorra to make sure he was brought back, because I knew you'd ask, so all I ask of you is you don't think about them and there won't be a problem," He said it so casually, it made me angry.

"Thank you," But I couldn't promise I wouldn't think of them. Especially Grimm. No I would never forget all the people who have helped me and fought beside me in the past years. Was he crazy? I could never do that. But I didn't have to tell him that.

"Good, now lose that sad look." I tried to smile, but found it hard without Grimm there. He always made me smile. He didn't even have to try.

"Now, let me take you back,"

Did I have a choice? Did I just do this to be imprisoned again?


	57. Missing

No aizenichi lemon in this chapter. I didn't feel like writing one. Sorry to Aizen ichi fans. Anyways enjoy I was going to make this longer but I can't think of what to write right now. Maybe I'll feel more creative later.

* * *

"Aizen-sama may we ask you something?" Gin asked, Ulquiorra by his side.

"Of course."

"We were wondering why you picked Kurosaki Ichigo," Ulquiorra said.

He smiled, amused.

"Well the reason isn't important, now is it? Why are you really here?"

"Is he worth all those life's? One person for that many, why?" He continued, ignoring his question.

Aizen sighed.

"He's special, why do you question me?"

"We just don't understand."

"That's to bad, now if you'll excuse me," He got up and left the room. Gin smiled at the arrancar.

"You know now that has a toy he'll be to busy for us," He pointed out.

"Yes, of course," He tried not to sound frustrated.

Why would he pick such _trash?_

* * *

My eyes fluttered open as I felt a mouth on mine. I met cold brown eyes.

Grimm, I miss your eyes.

"Ichigo, I'm going to mark you as mi ne, don't worry you'll enjoy this," He whispered. Enjoy? No way in hell, but I still let him touch me in that way only Grimm has.

This is all for your sake…

* * *

"Where am I?" I said when I sat up. This place looked oddly familiar…This was Urahara's? Was I still alive? I looked down and looked fine. They must have healed me. Again. But where's Ichi? Is he still…?

"Ah you're awake Mr. Jaggerjack," Urahara said, grinning as he entered the room. "I made sure Tessai healed you completely."

"Ichigo, is he…?" I asked, not caring about my heath.

"Yes, I'm afraid so."

I looked down and laid back down.

Ichi is gone. He's really gone. How am I suppose to go on?

"Isshin asked me to tell you you could stay at his house, Mr. Abarai and Mrs. Kuchiki are there also."

"Sure," I mumbled, not paying attention to him.

"And Mr. Jaggerjack…" He said slowly, catching my attention.

"What?"

"Don't lose hope, we can still save him."

I said I'd never go back to that place…

I walked to his house slowly, already losing myself with all the memories. His house, his room, would be even worse, but where else would I go? What else could I do? At least then I'll have a part of Ichi still. If only it's just a little.

When I got to the house, all the lights were turned off, but I heard someone laughing. It turned out to be Rukia and Renji in the living room, cuddling, as if everything was normal. I just shook my head and went upstairs, slowly entering his room. It looked the same, everything untouched, the blankets half off from the morning we left and he was no one in sight.

I sat down on the bed and closed my eyes.

"_Hey Grimm?" He asked, with a faint smile. _

"_Yeah?"_

"_I love you," and he leaned in to kiss me. I accepted his kiss and caught his hair, pulling him closer. He smiled against my lips. _

Some nights we'd make love, others we'd just cuddle, whispering sweet nothings. I liked those nights, it gave me time to relish him and just hold him. Not that I didn't enjoy the sex, I loved the sex. He was the best I've ever had by far. But it wasn't the sex I loved. It was _him._

With everyone else in the past they were just good fucks, but even before we got together I think I loved him. He was someone I couldn't have because Renji made it clear he was his, even though he cheated on him numerous times. I think he just hated competition. So did I. That's why I jumped on the chance to get him, even if at the time it seemed wrong. I couldn't help myself though. He's always been my weakness.

But I lost him again. I lost him to Aizen of all people. But he didn't do it because he loved him. I'm sure of it. Maybe he felt like he needed to do something and that was the only solution. He has always done stupid things without thinking, but I think he seriously thought about this one. Did he not think about how it would affect me? Not having him…that's the worse thing. Not after knowing what that feels like.

No, I'd get him back. I had to. Otherwise I'll just die.


	58. Stories

I love Hitsugaya, I had to put him in. He's so cute. But Ichigo will always be my favorite character.

* * *

I'm gonna die. Oh fuck it hurts!

All I could do was curl up in the blankets, while my body ached.

He wasn't exactly gentle. I think he enjoyed bring pain to others.

Grimm was never like this, he may seem tough but he always had a softer side when I was around. He never hurt me, not really. He always apologized. He was perfect.

But Aizen…I can see why not many people seem to like him here. Except Ulquiorra, he seemed to want nothing other than Aizen's approval. What was so fucking great about him anyways? No wonder Grimm wanted out.

But if that's the case…than why am I here?

* * *

"Where's your pet Aizen-sama?" Gin asked, trying to hold back a grin.

"Recovering," was all he said, before starting the meeting. Gin and Ulquiorra met eyes, smirking slightly. Yes that damn shinigami was finally getting what he deserved.

* * *

It was uncomfortable quiet in the Kurosaki kitchen as Rukia, Renji and I all sat down, eating quietly. I noticed them exchanging nervous looks every so often. Ha I made them nervous. I tried to hide a smirk.

"So um Grimm?" Rukia spoke first. I only looked up, acknowledging her presence. "Can we ask what happened with Ichigo?" Renji averted his eyes. He didn't like talking about him, did he?

"Why?"

"We want to know how we were saved, he always promised that when he got out he'd save us and I hope he didn't really do anything stupid. I mean it sounds like he did, but I can't be sure because…"

"Rukia," Renji interrupted her. She looked at him in an annoyed way. I couldn't help but almost laugh out loud.

"It's fine, I'll talk," I said, just to piss him off. She brightened up instantly, smiling at me as if I was her best friend. His frown deepened. Ha this is revenge Renji, you bastard. I should kill you for what you did to Ichi.

But of course I couldn't. Ichi would never want that.

* * *

"Um hi, Toushiro, right?" I said uncertainly. That short kid that use to be Ichi's cellmate approached me while I was walking to Urahara's.

"Yeah, Look can we talk?" He said, biting his lip nervously.

"Sure, is this about Ichigo?" I asked, already predicating a pattern. All anyone wanted to talk about was Ichi, not that I blamed them or cared. I could talk about him for days…but of course people don't want to hear everything I want to say about Ichi. (lol)

"Yes, I want the truth. Not the dumb downed version." He's pretty smart, isn't he? He knew I wasn't telling the complete truth to everyone. Especially that bastard Renji.

"Sure, I suppose I owe you anyways." He looked confused. He didn't know, did he? It was pretty him that brought me to Ichi. But I wasn't about to tell him this. I'm sure Ichi will tell him some day.

"Come on, let's go by the river," I said, smiling subconsciously. Everything reminds me of him…

So we sat down and I talked for about an hour, telling him everything.

"I should have known, Toushiro, I really should have. The signs were all there. I should have known the moment he started talking about leaving. He was planning something by himself the whole time we were coming up with a plan. The whole time his intention was to sacrifice himself," I said, trying not to cry. I never cry. He watched me with careful eyes.

"Why would he think he could stop it all?"

"Why? Because Aizen wanted him. He raped him, that's why he begged me to get him out of there. He didn't want that."

"He never told me that. He wouldn't tell me anything. He sounded so scared and than the next thing I know he's gone. Do you know how scared I was? I thought they did something to him and than I found out he somehow escaped. I was relieved, yet disappointed. I half hoped he'd take me with him. He knew I hated that place with all my being, but maybe he was to caught up with you and the chance to get freedom," He said quietly, picking at the grass. "But I suppose it was worth it in the end, right?" He smiled slightly, not looking at me.

We didn't say anything for a while, just enjoying the night.

This person, he helped Ichi didn't he? He kept him sane, didn't he? He must feel he owes Ichi, so he's trying to reach out to me. Maybe he wasn't so blind not to know what was going on under his nose. He must have noticed _something _before I took him out of there. He was pretty damn smart. No wonder Ichi liked him so much.


	59. The Unwilling

There you go, an azienichi lemon. Kinda. It's not the best I know. Oh well…enjoy anyways. Sorry so short. I can't think of what to write right now.

* * *

"Don't touch me," I whimpered as hands grabbed at me. He chuckled, not stopping his movements. I winced as he tore off my shirt.

"What's wrong my pet? Did I hurt you?" He whispered into my ear, his hands traveling lower, slipping in my pants.

Shit not again.

"Don't worry, I'll try to be gentle."

Gentle? He can't be, not unless he has a different definition of gentle.

"Come on, stop acting like you don't want it," I let out a gasp when stroked my member. He smirked, as he slowly pulled my pants off, my underwear followed. Gently he stroked my inner thigh as he lowered his head to my manhood.

Block it out…imagine it's Grimm. It's Grimm touching me…

* * *

"Grimmjaw?" The small shinigami said nervously.

"What now Hitsugaya?" I said, with a sigh.

"Nothing," He said, changing his mind.

"Hey Grim-" Renji stopped when he saw Hitsugaya sitting next to me.

"What pineapple head?" He said, smirking.

"What are you doing here Hitsugaya? Are you guys friends?" He looked so shocked, as if that'd be so absurd.

"No," We said at the same thing. I smirked at the smaller shinigami. The pineapple head was turning red.

"Did you want something?" I said, not trying to hide my smirk. I loved messing with Renji, it was so fun. The bastard.

"No, well Urahara wanted to see you," He said, quickly recovering.

"Fine, whatever," He ran away quickly. I think I scared him. I hardly had to try. Ichi would probably hit me if he saw what I was doing to him.

* * *

"I want you to scream my name," Aizen said, thrusting deep inside me, just missing the good spot. I tried to hold back a moan, but failed. He grabbed my hips and forced me up, to meet his thrusts.

Shit shit shit. I can't…

My eyes rolled at the back of my head when he suddenly hit it. That spot that would make me scream no matter what. He hit it again and I screamed.

"Yes, that's very good."

No, no it's not. I _can't _enjoy this. It isn't Grimm.

He kept hitting that spot, sending pleasure all through my body. He kissed me passionately, muffling my moans, as he thrust his tongue into my mouth. I didn't object, I couldn't. He grabbed my neglected penis and started to pump it in time with the thrusts. I arched into his touch, forgetting who it was that was touching me, fucking me.

And than I came all over his hand. He came inside me after a few more thrusts.

Slowly he pulled out and freed my mouth. He smiled seductively as he licked the come off his hands. I suddenly felt disgusted with myself.

"That was very good my pet," He said, leaning in to kiss me again.


	60. Rescue Me

I'm sorry for the shortness…and lateness I just can't write this right now, I think I'll just hurry up and finish this part of the story. . Sorry I haven't been motivated to sit down and write this…plus its in a bad stop and all I want to write is when Grimm and Ichi get back together. Lol. Anyways enjoy. so sorry this sucks so bad...

Oh hey before I forget, if anyone knows of a good beta reader let me know, ok?

* * *

"Grimmjow can I talk to you?" Rukia asked shyly when she found me by the river.

"Yes?"

"Captain Yamamoto has made contact with Aizen, they're going to meet and make some kind of compromise. I offered to come with and well would you come to? I know how much you miss Ichigo."

"How did he do that? And why would he do this for Ichigo? I never thought he liked him,"

"Things change, so will you?"

"Why are you asking me? Why not bring your boyfriend or something?"

"Because I thought I'd be nice and ask you, is that so bad?"

"No, I'm sorry. I'm just…"

"I know, I've seen you. I thought this would make you happy."

"I'm not happy to go back there, all I want is Ichi back."

She smiled, relieved.

* * *

This place was so boring. The meetings were boring, but Aizen made me sit in on them. As if that made a difference. All I did was stare at the ground, marveling at how _white_ this place was and regret what I let him do to me. What kind of person always that to happen to them? I really am weak.

"Ichigo?" I blinked, looking over at Aizen surprised.

"Did you hear that your dear shinigami friends are coming here to get you back?"

They are? No, I did this so they wouldn't get hurt! I don't want to start another war. They should just stay away. He watched me as I thought this and grinned smugly. He must have known what my intentions were all along.

"Does that not please you?" He asked with a sick smile.

"Does it matter? You'll still do things how you like no matter what I say," I whispered. I didn't say anything for the rest of the night.

He was plotting something under my nose, but I dared not ask. Was he going to kill them? Trick them into thinking it was safe to come here and than attack when they least expected? He wouldn't tell me anything, he'd just silence me with a kiss.

He was so disgusting. I hated how he tasted, how he felt. How he made me feel. I hated that he only cared enough to get a good fuck, otherwise he was all business. I was his toy. That doesn't mean I had to like it. In hated it, despised it. I longed for _him_. Grimmjow. If I couldn't have him, I didn't want anyone.

* * *

"What the fuck Grimmjow!" Renji yelled as he blocked my Cero. I blinked, as if suddenly realizing where I was. "Were you trying to kill me? We're just training, not fighting to the death."

"Sorry shinigami, I was just imagining you were Aizen," I said, grinning. He mumbled something and walked away. I only grinned wider. This game was fun. I enjoyed messing around with Renji. Every time he looked at me, I think he remembered, because he would look away.

"Grimmjow?" I looked up surprised, expecting him to be gone already.

"What?"

"You know, don't you?" He hesitated before continuing, "I have wanted to say so much, but I couldn't. I want to apologize to Ichigo when you bring him back, for everything. I know it was wrong of me…I just couldn't help it. I know that doesn't make up for it, but he has you now, right?" He only met my eyes for a moment longer, before looking away.

"Yeah, but why are you telling me this Renji?"

"Because when I see you I think of him. I have to go, before you try to kill me again," He laughed nervously and turned to leave. I didn't stop him. I only watched as he left.

Maybe he did have a heart after all.

* * *

"Ichigo, don't leave this room today," Aizen said, pushing me inside his bedroom.

"Wha…?" He closed the door in my face, I heard him lock it.

Today was the day, wasn't it? Normally he would make me spend the day with him, but today…it was, wasn't it? It had to be.

I was going to be saved. Whatever that means. What if they die? It will be all my fault.


	61. Death of Aizen

"Grimmjow wake up," I only shook them off and rolled over. "It's time to go, wake up," They urged me more urgently.

Go. To Ichi.

I sat up slowly and ran my hand through my hair.

"Yeah it is. Rukia?" I whispered.

"Yeah?"

"I'm not leaving without him."

She smiled. "I know."

* * *

I tried not to stare at Gin, but it was hard. Aizen must have sent him to baby sit me. He kept checking the clock. He was waiting for something. After a while he grinned.

"Well Kurosaki-kun sorry to leave you but I have a meeting," He left without another word. I heard the door lock again. I was their collateral, of course they'd keep me locked up.

I sighed and laid down on the bed. I'll just close my eyes for a second…

* * *

Rukia gave me a smile of encouragement before I went off in the opposite direction. I had to find him. Where would Aizen keep him? I closed my eyes and concentrated on finding his reistsu. It was faint and hard to trace. He was trying to hide him.

Not to hard for me though.

I sonidoed off in the direction I sensed him and stopped suddenly, faintly feeling Ulquorra's reistsu. I sped off after a second, ignoring it. I slowed down when I got to Aizen's door. There it is. It's faint, but It's there. I smiled, before breaking down the door. There he was, my strawberry. What a beautiful sight.

* * *

Rukia followed closely behind Captain Yamamoto without saying a word.

"I intend to kill Aizen, please don't get in the way," He spoke suddenly.

"Of course Captain."

"Than you can have your friend back, he's not the reason I wanted to come here."

This was news to her. She thought Ichigo was part of it.

The doors were open as Rukia and Captain Yamamoto approached them When they entered the room was quiet, until a voice broke it.

"What have you come here for?" Aizen asked, with a wicked smile on his face.

* * *

I sat down on the bed and laid down next to him. He was sleeping, he was always so cute when he slept. He looked so innocent. I gently stroked his cheek, before leaning in to kiss him. My heart sped up when I felt him kiss me back, warm brown eyes met mine before he pulled away.

* * *

Rukia screamed when the two men suddenly started fighting, jumping out of the way. Both looking devious.

"Rukia don't get in the way," Captain Yamamoto yelled, not pausing for a second. She turned around and ran .

* * *

My eyes suddenly opened when I felt lips on mine. I was about to push away when I saw Grimm's familiar blue eyes. I smiled slightly and kissed him back for a few seconds, before pulling away.

"What are you doing here Grimm?"

"Stealing you," He whispered, his lips dangerous close to mine. I sat up, pushing him away.

"No, you can't. That's not what I want."

But I did want it, that's why all I wanted to do was pull him close and kiss him.

"No, I did this for a reason," My heart sped up as he leaned in close, lips just barely touching mine.

"I know, I also have a reason for being here. I need _you. _I won't allow_ Aizen _to have you," He let out a low growl.

"Grimm," I shook slightly, his lips pressed against mine again. This time I didn't push away, I wrapped my arms around him, our lips moved urgently against each others.

"Grimmjow, take him, I won't stop you."

We both jumped, breaking apart. Ulquiorra stepped out of the shadows.

"I knew what your intentions were all along, even if Aizen-sama couldn't see it. I don't care I just want him gone," His voice was full of hatred toward me. His green eyes held mine for a second and then moved to Grimmjow.

"I won't ask you again."

"Ok! Maybe I never gave you enough credit, you do have a heart," Grimm said, overly happy.

"No, I don't."

Grimm grinned and met my eyes. I tried to get away but he already had a good hold on me and sonidoed to the hall.

"No, let me go! I won't go!" I screamed, trying to get out of his arms.

"Yes you will," He said, smiling, tightening his grip on me.

"Grimmjow stop! I don't want to go," He completely ignored my pleases.

"Grimmjow!" Rukia screamed from afar. Suddenly I stopped moving. Aizen's familiar reistsu suddenly flared and than disappeared completely.


	62. Returning home

sorry this is so late. I really am. I think there might be one more chapter and than it'll be done. I was thinking of writing something about what happened before this, you know with Ichi and Renji? but idk, would you like that? let me know, I'd do it.

* * *

Grimm stopped dead in his tracks.

Aizen…did he…is he dead?

The footsteps came thundering toward us. I looked up at Grimmjow. He wore a huge grin.

"Grimm?"

"Grimmjow! Did you…" Rukia's voice was nearer this time, she came around the corner, panting. She smiled when she saw me.

"He's dead, that bastard is finally dead," He looked smug about it. I knew he hated him, but must have really hated him when I was taken away from him.

"Ichigo, I am so relieved to see you," Rukia said. Our eyes met and I smiled faintly.

"What happened Rukia?" Grimm asked.

"Captain Yamamoto and Aizen started fighting and than I ran because I was worried about you."

"Why would you worry about me? I can do anything." She smiled again, looking relieved.

"Um Grimm, you can let me go, I'm not gonna run," I said, trying to get out of his hold. He smiled and let me go, only to wrap his arms around my waist to tightly, his head resting on my shoulders.

"You're all fucking mine now Ichi," He whispered into my ear.

I know, that's a place I didn't mind being.

* * *

People were staring at me. I know it wasn't just because Grimm insisted on being as close as he could to me. Hitsugaya kept biting his lip, as if he wanted to say something. Rukia was grinning. Grimm just looked cocky about it. My dad… he never changes. When I got back he jumped me and didn't let me go for about five minutes. Crazy old man. Than he insisted we have a party, which turned out to be dinner at Urahara's. It was a nice change, I liked being with everyone I loved, especially after being separated for so long.

Grimm was usually quiet though. I think he was plotting ways to ravish me tonight or something. He had a death grip on me. Where was I going to go? I did feel bad though. I just left him, didn't I? But what choice did I have? I hate war, I don't think we should fight at all. Not that we had much to fight for now. Soul Society was destroyed. At least we still had some of the best soul reapers, that meant something. There was still hope, what if we rebuilt it? Started over? That didn't sound like to bad of an idea.

* * *

I tried to push his hands away, but they were still magic as they explored my flesh. He kissed my lips as he pulled my hands up against the wall. I almost moaned. His touch, his kisses, they were still the same. They turned me to mush in seconds.

"Ichi, don't resist, I know you don't want to," He whispered huskily, before moving his lips to my neck. His hands traveled lower, slipping inside my pants. Slowly they encircled my manhood, tracing slow, sensual patterns. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I moaned loudly. He stopped his attack on my neck and looked me in the eyes. His lips twitched for a second before moving in on my lips again, slipping his tongue in right away. I met his tongue, starting our dance of passion.

He let my hands fall to my side than, so I grabbed his hair, to pull him closer. This was all to familiar. Oh god I don't want it to ever stop.

Things sped up suddenly as I rocked my hips against his hand. He started to pump me with one hand and than one traveled lower, just barely entering me. I moaned against his lips, holding onto him tighter. One of his legs forced my legs apart and than I felt it. His need for me pressed against me. I released one of my hands and stroked him through the fabric. He gasped against my lips. I did it again and he pulled away, looking at me with lust filled eyes. His hands froze.

"I need you," He whispered lustfully.

"Oh god me too."

He smiled and got back to work, this time unzipping my pants and letting them fall to the ground.

"Than let me fuck you, right here in this alley," He whispered into my ear, his hand stoking me. I could only nod my head as my whole body reacted to his touch. My eyes fluttered shut as he continued, than I heard his pants fall to and than he slipped off my boxers. I gripped his hair tightly as he entered me slowly and his lips kissed mine. He pulled my legs around his waist.

I've almost forgotten how good this feels. How addicting he is.

I rocked against him as he sped up, pushing me up against the wall roughly. My legs opened wider for more access, he adjusted immediately. Than it happened. He hit that spot. I let out an extra loud moan. He smiled and did it again, his lips moving lower, to my chest, catching one of my nipples. His tongue worked his magic on that as he pounded into me. Both are breathing became rugged with passion.

I came all over his chest after he hit my prostate again. His lips traveled upward as he sped up momentarily, only to come too. He ended on my lips, kissing me deeply. Our movements slowed down as he gave me that mind blowing kiss. My mouth opened unconsciously underneath his and his tongue joined in again.

To much. My head was spinning. My heart beat was out of control.

I pulled way suddenly, panting. He rested his forehead against mine and wrapped his arms around me, holding me closer. I sighed, content. All I heard was our unsteady breathing for a couple of minutes.

"I love you," I said, meeting his blue eyes.

"I love you, too, now let's get cleaned up." I smiled. Oh yes it would be very bad if someone saw us like this.


	63. Epilogue EDITED

_I'm not happy with this yet but idk maybe I should just leave it at this. i seem to have lost my inspiration for the moment_

_It's so warm._ I got closer to the source of warmth surrounding me. My eyes fluttered open, searching. Blue hair was all I saw. I smiled, before removing his hands and getting out of bed. I had half an hour before the captains meeting. If I didn't leave now I would surely be late. That's how it always worked with Grimmjow. He would be in the mood and I'd be to weak to resist.

I don't know why they choose me to be a captain. I mean I realize they lost a lot of people. At least they were able to rebuild Soul Society. We all helped out and I ended up moving here. My dad was proud, but I could tell he was sad. He only had his clinic since my sisters were gone. He was never one to show weakness though. I don't think he wanted to move here, though. He probably wanted to stay close to Yuzu and Karin and mom.

Of course Grimmjow came with me. I can't get rid of him now. He hasn't been assigned a squad yet, but I know they'll let him join. He needs something to do, he keeps bugging me every chance he gets. It's really annoying. But I love him.

"Ichi?" He said, with a yawn. I tried not to smile, as I tried to gather my clothes. I needed to get out before he sucked me in again.

"Where are you going?"

"A meeting, it's Monday," I said, as I finished getting dressed. Suddenly he got up. I stepped back, to get away, but he only trapped me against the wall. He leaned in close, his lips just barely brushing my ear. I shivered. Oh no.

"Don't think you can get away so easily. You have time," He whispered, before kissing me hard on the mouth. My eyes shut as we kissed. His arms wrapped around me, pulling me closer. I melted into him, forgetting everything momentarily, our tongues slide together in a slow dance. I held on to his hair forcefully as his hands slide lower down my body excruciatingly slow. I moaned into his mouth when his hand encircled my manhood, pumping it slowly.

Our alarm clock went off in the background. My eyes opened slightly and than it hit me. I always set that to go off five minutes before the meeting started. Shit I'm gonna late. I pushed him away and straightened my clothes, blushing deeply.

"I'm late, I got to go," I said, kissing him lightly. He looked at me sadly. He always did this. I wasn't going to give in today. I just brushed it off and left. I shunpoed as fast as I could and when I got to our meeting. I walked quietly, taking my place by Renji. Toushiro caught my eye and smiled. Just yesterday he said I was going to be late. I hate it when he's right.



"Sorry I'm late Captain," I said, trying not to smile.

"Don't let it happen again, now let's get down to business…"

Toushiro caught up with me after the meeting.

"Hey, nice entrance. You never cease to amaze me Kurosaki," He had a playful look in his eyes.

"Shut up, it was Grimmjow again," A blush threatened to appear. I tried not to discuss what we did with other people. It just made him more cocky. The bastard.

"Isn't it always? Anyways Matsumoto said something drinking tonight?" He looked queasy at the idea. He never was much for having fun. I was working on changing that.

"Yeah, Ikkaku and Renji wanted to go since we've been so busy. You're coming, right?"

"Do I have a choice?" He scolded. He looked adorable when he did that. Not that I'd ever say this out loud. Grimm would kill him. He's a bit over protective.

"No, it'll be fun. Can you hold your liquor?" I teased. He looked away and muttered something. I laughed. I'll take that as a no.

"I got to go, I have work to do, and so do you," He said, completely changing the subject.

"Ok, I'll see you later Toushiro."

Being a Captain wasn't to bad. I got to teach all these young, inexperienced shinigami how to fight. Sure I didn't know how to do kidou, that was only one of my downfalls. The other one of was him.

"Hey Ichi!"

Oh I was wondering when he was going to come around. Some of my subordinates laughed when they saw my expression. They always did. I think Grimmjow enjoyed embarrassing me.



"Just keep practicing," I said, before running to him, pulling him out of their sight.

"What are you doing here?" I asked. He just grinned, before diving right in for a kiss. I only let him for a second, before pulling away blushing profusely.

"You're so cute Berry," He said, taking one of my hands in his and putting on a sweet smile. Oh no he was going to do something 'sweet' again.

"You know I feel kinda deprived, you didn't let me fuck you this morning or last night. You owe me, you know I can't last long."

I wanted to smack him. Was that all he cared about? Sex? Bastard.

"You'll just have to live without it for a while Grimm, I'm kinda busy right now," I said, before turning away from him. He suddenly was right there, his breathe hot on the back of my neck, his hands snaking around my waist. I shivered involuntarily.

"Ok I'll see you later than Ichi, remember you owe me," He whispered into my ear, before disappearing. I tried not to smile. He knew just what to do to drive me crazy. I hated that.

I wondered around Soul Society's streets for a while, contemplating everything. I was so relieved everything was back to normal again. I was in Soul Society with my friends. There was no Aizen, no arrancar or war. I liked this peacefulness, but I knew it couldn't possibly last forever. But for now I'd treasure it because for a long time everything was messed up. But now I have Grimmjow and this new life. I may have lost some things on the way here, my sisters, friends, my dignity, but I was still ok. I felt perfectly fine here. Right here. Right now. At least until the next enemy came around. There was always another. That didn't mean I couldn't live though. I've faced so much and gotten this far, I couldn't stop now. My life was just beginning; I had a long way to go. Might as well enjoy it while I can.

I smiled as warm arms wrapped around me.

"Grimm."



"Ichi," He snuggled into my neck. I turned around and our lips met in a long kiss.

"Let's go home," He said, looking at me with half lidded eyes. I only nodded, taking his hand as we took our time getting there. I had all the time in the world.


End file.
